Now They Won’t Take Cash???

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Before I take the afternoon off and smoke a cigar and watch Crab Monsters or something, I’ve just got to tell you about my latest grocery-shopping safari.

I don’t know if you can see it in the illustration, but right under the Federal Reserve seal is the unambiguous statement, “This note is legal tender for all debts public and private.”

Except in Whole Foods!

Hey, everybody–join me in playing “I woke up in Venezuela this morning!” After the cashier rang me up, she suddenly remembered she’s not allowed anymore to take any of that legal tender. Credit only! So there was a big fap-a-thon over that. “It’s for your own protection,” explained the manager.

Ah, fooey! What is this–back to junior high school? Russia in the 1970s? I know they’re a chi-chi oh-so-precious bunch in Whole Foods, but they should go soak their heads.

“Don’t you see? We have it posted?”

“Oh? And that makes it right? That makes my legal tender not legal anymore? You can just decide that, can you?” But I might as well have been talking to a fire hydrant.

Once this virus schiff is over, there are a lot of little tin gods who need to be taken out to the woodshed.

14 comments on “Now They Won’t Take Cash???

  1. And handling the credit card reader that everyone has touched and breathed on is okay? For that matter, handling groceries on the shelves and bins that everyone has touched and breathed on is okay? Remember, this isn’t supposed to make sense. It’s supposed to make power structures. It isn’t about health or safety. It’s about control.

    I had to go to the bank this morning, to GET cash (long story, maybe later). I noticed that I was the only customer in the bank who wasn’t wearing a mask — the tellers weren’t wearing masks, but they were behind plexiglass — and it suddenly occurred to me that with everyone wearing masks in banks and stores, the security cameras have been rendered useless. If I were a robber, I’d be in seventh heaven. No one would take any notice of me when I entered the bank or store with my mask on, and no one would be able to identify me after I left with the loot. Add surgical gloves for “safety” — from leaving fingerprints, that is — and you have a whole new Land Of Opportunity for robbers.

    Oh well. See above: not about sense or safety, but about power. Our RULERS are protected from all this. Too bad we were never supposed to have rulers in America.

    1. Good idea. I’ll take the platinum, turn it into coins, sell it to the Federal Reserve, and give every US citizen $2,000 per month for at least a year or until the economy is opened, but not until prices go back to normal. If elected, that’s what i’ll do.

  2. Our governor just decreed that SOME businesses may reopen (oh, thank you, master!) over the next three weeks — no restaurants, though — but everyone who enters a facility must wear a face covering. I have no masks. I can’t find any masks. I don’t even have any scarves except wool mufflers for the winter. I can’t breathe in masks anyway. I guess I’ll have to starve since I can’t go into any stores any more. I am FURIOUS.

    Actually, I’m thinking of tying a shirt around my face as a mask. Or maybe underwear. Hey, they don’t specify what kind of “face covering” it has to be.

    1. BTW, a few of the restaurants in our town have remained open for take-out and seem to be doing pretty well. You phone your order in, pay over the phone with a credit card, drive up to the curb, and they bring your food out to you. A long way from being optimal, but much better than nothing.

  3. I think about the American pioneer who braved Indian attacks and all sorts of hardships to settle this country and how now we’ve come to a place where we are too afraid to even handle money out of fear of catching germs. We’ve become so soft that we don’t just want to just minimize risk anymore but avoid it altogether. Such a people will gladly give up their freedoms and prosperity for a little security.

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