Pottos on the Rampage!

Potto | Animal Database | Fandom

Pottos all over the world are enraged about there being even any question about allowing them to enroll in Quokka University. Throwing bricks, setting fires, letting crocodiles loose from zoos–Mostly Peaceful Pottos (MPPs) are tearing the world apart.

The Mostly Peaceful Pottos say they won’t stop until they get everything they want. Humans are warned not to travel alone in the treetops. If you must creep from tree to tree, clinging to and swinging from the branches, try to do it during the day when most pottos are asleep.

A spokesquokka for Quokka University, Emma the Quokka, said she and her fellow board members were “terribly disappointed that this sort of controversy should occur before we open our very first semester. Nobody said we wouldn’t admit pottos! Honestly, the subject never came up–until now.”

Any decision, she added, will be deferred until after the quokkas hold their annual Fli-Back Paddle Ball Tournament.

10 comments on “Pottos on the Rampage!

  1. So long as they are “mostly peaceful”. BTW, you don’t need a mask if you are part of a mostly peaceful protest; your virtue will stop COVID 19 in its tracks.

  2. I was getting worried about the future of Quokka U., but then I realized that the pottos would probably want to rampage close to home (Africa) rather than make the arduous trip to Rottnest Island. And after all the rampaging, they might even decide to start their own university, maybe with an interdisciplinary major in rampaging. Or a varsity rampaging team.

  3. I think the Pottos are just jealous because people think the Quokka is cuter than they are. Where is the social justice in that? Riots are the quick way to get what you want but the negative ramifications are long-lasting.

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