Byron’s TV Listings, June 5

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1964

G’day, g’day, and welcome to another weekend of cyclopean TV viewing pleasure, brought to you by Quokka University! Byron the Quokka here–and don’t think I had anything to do with this TV caper, I’m just an announcer they snapped up at random.

Here are a few samples to whet your appetite.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 04   VEGAN GUNS–Muddled Western

It’s not easy being a professional gunslinger (Jack Elam), a New Age guru, and a vegan! Episode 14: Communications from the Vega star system are being received through Stokey the Cook’s unwashed pots and pans. Stokey: Xi Jin Ping. Miss Willowfeather: Susan Sontag. Jabba the Hutt: don’t ask.


Host Barney Rubble discusses The Great Gatsby with incoherent romance writer Violet Crespuscular and her pet click beetle, Mandrake. Neither of them has read the book. With Swede Risberg and his orchestra.

Ch. 16   MERVYN PUNCHO–Variety

Mervyn’s guests include beer-chugger Milt Famey, unsuccessful bowler Ginger Hooja demonstrating gutter-balls, backwards talker Neleh NniuQ, and B.S. artist John Kerry. Featured: the Vlad the Impaler Dancers.

8:48 P.M.  Ch. 46  TIMON!–Sitcom

What happens when the city’s most prominent misanthrope is given a surprise birthday party? Timon (Tim McCarver) blames Alicibiades (Soupy Sales) for his game leg, but the party’s going to go on whether he likes it or not. Mrs. Demosthenes: Esther Rolles. Caterer: Johnny Weissmuller.

9 P.M.  Ch. 11  MOVIE–Crime Drama

Film noir classic! “I Live Face-Down” (1969) features Billy Mumy and Telly Savalas as clinically depressed private eyes trying to get the goods on a crooked politician (Willis Twombley) who’s making sure all his friends and toadies get municipal swimming pool memberships. Things only get worse when their secretary, Foxy (Helen Hayes) is diagnosed with Hornomania. Mayor Belshazzar: Don Knotts.

Well, that’s that for the sample package! And–

Meet the Quokka

Tune in tomorrow for our Rottnest Island Bell Mountain Party, which I’m not supposed to mention, in case nobody shows up. I have it on good authority that one of the major characters in the book is going to be present… if he can overcome his fear of marsupials.

7 comments on “Byron’s TV Listings, June 5

  1. These are hilarious! And how wonderful that both Violet Crepuscular and Willis Twombey have made the big time and shown up on TV. Good thing they’re in separate shows, though. I don’t know what would happen if an author and one of her characters ever met in real life. The same as matter and anti-matter, maybe? 🙂

  2. I wanted to watch Great Books by Idiots but there is no time listed? I’ll check it out but I am not going to miss :Live Face Down” because I need to know the skinny on that swimming pool :).

    1. Search me.
      Hey, I’m glad you’re here! Maybe you can tell me what’s gone so haywire with my blog. I think Google is suppressing my viewership. Not one new follower since May 11–no, not real! Can’t be.

      I’d be much obliged if you’d try to follow this blog and let me know what happens.

      (“WannaBe” is one of my friends from He’s a computer whiz and he’s helped me several times before. I’m berating myself for not consulting him sooner!)

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