Pelosi Calls for ‘Gay National Anthem’

ASAP Anole Adaptation | California Academy of Sciences

(You don’t think I want to illustrate this story, do you? Here’s a nice little lizard instead.)

Squeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi says it’s time America had a Gay National Anthem.

“According to the official Democratic Party and Hollywood census, gay/lesbian/trans Americans now account for 45% of the population,” Pelosi said. “That’s more than enough to deserve your own national anthem!

“Look! We fly our Gay Pride and Transgender Pride flags in front of our U.S. embassies–especially in Third World countries where they find it tremendously offensive. But what’re they gonna do about it, huh? Suck it up, you pipsqueaks, or you’ll get no foreign aid!”

With a twinkle in her eye, the Squeaker declined to reveal the title of the Gay National Anthem, or the artist that would perform it. Asked if it would be Joe Biden himself, Pelosi said, “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you… er… fewer lies!”

[Note: The foregoing is a satire written for comedic effect. We all know the Democrat Party would never, never stoop to anything as low as this.]

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