G’day, ‘allo, and welcome to this weekend’s Quokka University TV listings! I’m your host, Byron the Quokka–you know: the poor parsnip who gets stuck doing all the work. But if we can bring you but one small hour of joy, it doesn’t matter how I suffer, does it?
Here’s a sample of our menu!
6:17 P.M. Ch. 41 MOVIE–Science Fiction/Philosophy
Grace Kelly and Werner von Braun star in “Island of Super Prudish Women” (Italian-Scottish, 1969), the film that launched the “prudish women” craze of 1970. On a planet in another galaxy, a scientific expedition finds an island full of really prudish women. Queen Xaxamar: Urula Andress. Scotty: James Doohan.
6:30 P.M. Ch. 09 ASK DR. KRINKLE!–Psychology/Phrenology
This show features the real Dr. Heinrich Krinkle and his real celebrity patients, who’ve given up on all the so-called “real” psychologists and whose only hope now is for Dr. Krinkle, the last practicing, accredited phrenologist in the Western world, to read the bumps on their heads to find out what’s wrong with them. Tonight’s patients: a man who thinks he’s Chuck Schumer, and astronomer Ernest Gamow, who can’t stop peering through the wrong end of his telescope. Featured: The June Taylor Dancers.
Ch. 14 LEARN TO DRAW WITH OLIVER FAPP–Art/Educational
Why try to buy the Sistine Chapel when Ollie can teach you how to paint it yourself on the ceiling of your living room? With commentary by a balloon with a face on it.
7 P.M. Ch. 08 MUMMY ON HORSEBACK–Western
The ancient Egyptian mummy, Ra-Ho-Khepere (Slim Pickens), continues his search of the Old West for the cowboy who robbed his tomb. This week: Two of Ra’s fingers fall off while he’s eating dinner with the Zuckerberg family. He’ll need some fast talking to get out of this! Ma and Pa Zuckerberg: John Cleese. Little Nell: A Hamster. Little Elroy: Sen. Lou Bok Choi, Wisconsin.
Ch. 22 AIRPLANE DEMOLITION DERBY–Sports
You’d better bring a parachute if you want to play this game! Entrepreneur Mervyn Puncho took demo derby off the tires and put it on wings. Obsolete fighter planes and refurbished small aircraft knock each other out of the sky–last one flying wins. Celebrity host: Bernadette Peters. With Spiro Agnew and his orchestra.
Well! That should get you started! I’ve already seen all these shows, and I’d be hard-put to say which I liked best. But anything with a mummy in it always goes down well. Happy viewing!
It is kinda fun seeing names of actors I had forgotten about for years. I remember some of these shows.
You’ve actually seen some of those shows on Byron’s menu? Oops, sorry. You must mean the ones on those old TV Guide pages.
I really enjoy looking back on those old shows. Wish I’d seen that “Death Valley Days’ episode about the invention of movies.
Aw, the June Taylor Dancers got only a supporting role this week. Darn.
Actually, the cast members are especially funny this week.
Scotty actually being played by James Doohan????
Actors have to keep working.
Airplane demolition derbies; an idea whose time has come. 🙂
Sorry to hear that you have to suffer Byron. Why not have a rest?
Oh, somebody’s got to get this blog up and moving! Might as well be me.
I remember almost all of those shows listed in the TV Guide. Yeah, Mr. Ed. From memory:
“A horse is a horse of course of course,
and no one can talk to a horse of course,
unless of course the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.
Just talk to the horse of course of course,
he’ll give you the answer that you endorse,
he’s always on a steady course, talk to Mr. Ed.
I am Mr. Ed. …”
Did I get that right?
Sounds right to me!
great job, Michael. My sons loved that show
Erlene, your sons must have watched the reruns (unless you are really really old…ha, ha, ha). For me, I started to watch a lot of those shows at their season premieres, which means I am really really old. I can only pray, I could remember the numerous Bible verses I have read over the years, as well as I remember those lyrics. And I believe its been more then 40 years, since I have heard those lyrics… don’t get me started on the Adams Family or Gilligan’s Island, or Green Acres lyrics.
I do have a question. What’s the first thing you know?
“…Well, the first thing you know old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said Jed move away from there. They said California is the place you ought to be, so they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly, Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars.”
– “The Beverly Hillbillies”