I Amb Drackuler!!!

Dracul: See the haunting cover for the Dracula prequel | EW.com

Oman! To-morro “it” is Hallaween and I amb all “set!”! I amb goingto “be” Cownt Drackuler!!!! and i has a reel Scairy cosstomb for it too!

[Editor’s Note: Someone has asked me why Joe Collidge thinks Halloween is tomorrow, when it was last week. The answer to that question is “Because he’s an idiot.”]

Somb of yiu probbly doughnt know “abote” Drackuler! He was a Vampire!!! Thay cawl themb that becose a Vampire he wares “a” Black sute like a Umpire in a bawlgame!! The reel Drackuler he livved long Ago “in” whatt “is” nhow Nibrasker but it was cawled Trancilvainyer back Then!!!!! He hadded a cassle And “cood” tern hisself Into A Batt!!!! How cool “is” that???

Thare is lotts “Of” mooveys abuot Drackuler, i think i seen one once,, he Was “in a” Car or sombthing!!! Then he drincked somb blood!!!!! He hased theeze big teeths and i bett he wares “one” “of” themb MAGGA hats too but i amb hear At collidge and i coodnt fyned no MAGGA had and I woodnt “whare” one annyhow!!!!! Like thare Is “a” limmit!!!

So to-morro i whill Put “on” “my” cosstomb and Scaire peeple so thay wil Give “me” Candy!!!! Woodnt “that” “be” grate iff thay Thawt i reely amb Drackuler!!!! Mayby thay wood give me muney tooo!!!!!!

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