Tag: dracula

I Amb Drackuler!!!

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

Dracul: See the haunting cover for the Dracula prequel | EW.com

Oman! To-morro “it” is Hallaween and I amb all “set!”! I amb goingto “be” Cownt Drackuler!!!! and i has a reel Scairy cosstomb for it too!

[Editor’s Note: Someone has asked me why Joe Collidge thinks Halloween is tomorrow, when it was last week. The answer to that question is “Because he’s an idiot.”]

Somb of yiu probbly doughnt know “abote” Drackuler! He was a Vampire!!! Thay cawl themb that becose a Vampire he wares “a” Black sute like a Umpire in a bawlgame!! The reel Drackuler he livved long Ago “in” whatt “is” nhow Nibrasker but it was cawled Trancilvainyer back Then!!!!! He hadded a cassle And “cood” tern hisself Into A Batt!!!! How cool “is” that???

Thare is lotts “Of” mooveys abuot Drackuler, i think i seen one once,, he Was “in a” Car or sombthing!!! Then he drincked somb blood!!!!! He hased theeze big teeths and i bett he wares “one” “of” themb MAGGA hats too but i amb hear At collidge and i coodnt fyned no MAGGA had and I woodnt “whare” one annyhow!!!!! Like thare Is “a” limmit!!!

So to-morro i whill Put “on” “my” cosstomb and Scaire peeple so thay wil Give “me” Candy!!!! Woodnt “that” “be” grate iff thay Thawt i reely amb Drackuler!!!! Mayby thay wood give me muney tooo!!!!!!

It’s Debate Night!

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

DRACULA KISS neck bite BELA LUGOSI VAMPIRE HORROR photo L107 | eBay

Hey! I thought I asked for a picture of Joe Biden–not Dracula. What’s that? You find it hard to tell them apart? Hmmm….

Tonight’s the first presidential debate of 2020. Gibberin’ Joe Biden has been lured out of his basement–don’t ask how–and refused to take a drug test before the fun starts, which can only mean he’s chemically equipping himself for it.

We are warned by some conservative commentators that the bar has been set too low: that all Biden has to do, to “win” the debate, is not do a Nadler in his pants. After 50 years of taking up space on Capitol Hill, if there’s one thing Joe can do in his sleep–and he might really be asleep–it’s debate politics. What’s he done for 50 years but talk?

I pray that this will be the end of it–the Biden campaign in particular and the Democrat Party in general. Forever. We do not need the Riot Party doing to our whole country what they’ve done to the unhappy cities they control.

May the Lord confound them.

‘Dracula Revisited’ (2015)

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

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The late, great, Christopher Lee

I haven’t looked at any nooze yet today, I keep putting it off. Somehow I doubt anything got better overnight. Instead, let’s visit Dracula.

Dracula Revisited

The great thing about a monster like Dracula is that even though he scares you, at the end of the book, he’s toast. But the headlines just go on and on, endless horror. Even if you could get rid of Pelosi, someone just as awful would take her place in a nanosecond.

It’s a great relief to escape from a horrific situation, even if it’s only by shutting the book.

If only we could shut the book on Far Left Crazy.

P.S.–Only one comment so far today? One?

Somebody tell me what sort of stuff you’d like to see posted here today.

A Totally Innocent and Harmless Little Post

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

Was Dracula Story inspired by Abhartach, the Bloodsucking Chieftain of Ireland? | Ancient Origins

I like happy little puppies, don’t you?

Meanwhile, back in Eastern Europe, descendants of the original Dracula are reaping huge public relations benefits from re-naming their group Transylvanian Lives Matter.

A visit to their secret site on the Dark Web reveals that the group’s aims and interests have not changed at all: feeding on the blood of the living, turning people into vampires, spreading fear and misery and violence everywhere (“Our mission is to spread fear and misery and violence everywhere,” says their Preamble). But suddenly the group is not only socially acceptable, but also politically ascendant.

“Changing our name changed everything!” exults the current president of the group, Count Vladimir Yorga. “Now, anyone who criticizes anything we do, or offers even the most trifling opposition, is immediately accused of believing that Transylvanian lives don’t matter! So the next time anyone asks you, ‘What’s in a name?’, tell them–‘Everything!’ In all honesty, we were getting nowhere the whole time we called ourselves Blood-sucking Abominations.”

(And let’s just see if I get away with this. But really, somebody does have to say something.)

Now the EU Wants You to Eat Bugs

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

Not just flies, but spiders, too!

They must expect the Chinese Wuhan Communist Death Virus to close up shop pretty soon, ’cause it sounds like they’re getting us ready for another round of OMGwe’reallgonnadiefromClimbitChange blah-blah…

And so they’re back to trying to get us peasants to eat bugs. They’re always trying to get us to eat bugs. This time it’s the EU and its Food Safety Authority, getting all set to approve creepy-crawlies as food fit for ordinary goofy human beings who can’t make it to Davos (https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2020/04/06/eu-set-to-approve-insects-for-human-consumption/).

First I’ve got to see John Kerry or Theresa May chow down on a nice bowlful of squirming mealworms. See, I know they want us eating bugs just so they can laugh at us. Grubs and crickets and flies–that’s not for them! That’s for us. To help keep us in line. Who’s going to listen to a protest by someone who eats cucarachas?

You guys don’t know it, do you?–globalism’s dead. Your buddies the Chicoms killed it. All the tomato worm sandwiches in the world won’t bring it back. You global elites are mighty slow on the uptake!

So you can take your tent caterpillar flambe and stuff it.

‘Dracula’ Comments on the Dems’ Debate

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

Among other highlights of last night’s Democrat food fight, Joe Biden claimed 150 million people in the U.S. have been killed by gun violence since 2007… apparently forgetting who was in office for eight of those 13 years. Nor did he offer any suggestion as to who might have wiped out half our country’s population.

As a comment on the debate as a whole, I cannot improve on this little clip from Dracula, filmed in 1931. The action takes place, appropriately, at a lunatic asylum…

The 2020 Democrat Presidential Candidate

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

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A few days ago, on the radio, Mark Simone and Michael Goodwin said something that I’m still thinking about. They agreed that none of the 25 bozos currently vying for the Democrat presidential nomination was going to wind up as the nominee. Quite simply, because they’re all too far-out to be elected president.

But if not one of them, then who? Simone and Goodwin had to admit they were stumped, had no idea. And I was stumped, too.

Until now. ‘Cause now I know just who it’s gotta be.

Dracula.

The Dems should run Count Dracula for president.

And here are the irrefutable reasons why. 1. He lives by sucking other people’s blood–just like the government. 2. He’s here illegally, and Democrats love that. 3. Whenever you try to pin him down, he turns into a green mist, or a bat, and gets away. Only Bill Clinton ever did it better. 4. He has absolutely no use for our Constitution or anybody else’s.

Can you imagine his State of the Union messages?

Bram Stoker Visits Scurveyshire (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

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In Chapter CCXXX of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney–we’re still waiting for Chapter CCXXIX–Violet Crepuscular writes of a visit to Scurveyshire by Bram Stoker, the famed author of Dracula. It is vain to protest that Stoker wasn’t born until 1847 and would have been only three years old in 1850. “I do not believe the dates commonly given,” asserts Ms. Crepuscular. Nor do we get anywhere by denying that Stoker spoke fluent Pidgin with a broad Irish accent. “My sources are impeccable,” she says. We are not sure she knows what “impeccable” means.

Stoker comes to Scurveyshire to do research for Dracula, which was not published until 1897. He is immediately informed that “We ain’t had but one vampire in Scurveyshire, and he retired from it long ago to go into the tea business. Last we heard, he had a big plantation in Norway.” But before he can leave, he learns that Scurveyshire is being terrorized by the long-dead necromancer, Black Rodney. His interest is piqued.

Stoker interviews Constable Chumley at The Lying Tart, where the local brew goes straight to his head and incites him to entertain the night’s customers by reciting rather lurid nursery rhymes. “Yer flothering bandy fair made a clogger that brawsty night,” the constable recalls.

The next night, Stoker disappears. Forever. It is discovered that the itinerant spider girl, Lizzie Snivel, fell madly in love with Scurveyshire’s exotic visitor: and also that he took advantage of her infatuation to purchase from her a rare Tasmanian blow-dried spider at a shamefully low price. Miss Lizzie, the only witness, insists that Mr. Stoker, hunting for traces of Black Rodney, ventured dangerously close to the wading pool in the vicar’s back yard. “I fear he was dragged under by them tentacles!” she cries. “Oh, I should have stopped him!”

Still trying to plan his wedding to Lady Margo Cargo, Lord Jeremy Coldsore finds it hard to do his duty as Scurveyshire’s justice of the peace. “I don’t have time to investigate the disappearance of a Pidgin-speaking Irishman!” he cries. So there is no investigation, and the wading pool has claimed another victim.

We are promised that in Chapter CCXXXI, Lord Jeremy will acquire a new cravat especially for the wedding.

They Still Want You to Eat Bugs

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

Image result for images of jiminy cricket

Jiminy Cricket: if globalists get their way, he’ll soon be behind the 8-ball, not on top of it.

Why are globalists and other ninnies always trying to talk regular people into eating bugs?

The Associated Press has a piece exhorting us to eat crickets and thus realize a “huge environmental impact” ( http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_FOOD_AND_FARM_EDIBLE_CRICKETS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2017-01-13-01-22-13 ). To make it sound more credible, the promoters of this scheme cite a 2013 paper by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization which urges people to… eat bugs.

Yeah, I’d love to see that at one of those $10,000-a-plate fundraising dinners the whoopee crowd loves to hold–a gaggle of liberal politicians and Hollywood celebrities chowing down on crickets. John Kerry with a mouthful of nice, tasty spiders: that just might shut him up for once.

Hey, you deplorables out there! Why aren’t you eating insects like the experts tell you to? Huh?

Um… in Bram Stoker’s novel, Dracula had an insane worshiper named Renfield who used to eat all kinds of bugs so he could be more like his “master.” And the Devil sometimes uses the moniker Baal-z’vuv, “Lord of the Flies.” Anybody seeing a pattern here?

Bear in mind this simple rule: Never, never do anything recommended by the UN or any of its so-called “experts.” They are not your friends.

And let’s see that private jet-and-limo Davos mob all get together for a cricket fry.

Chowderhead Quote of the Week

Posted By: leeduigonPosted On:

In an age of teeming idiocy, it’s hard to say or do anything that really makes you stand out as a jackass among jackasses. But comedian Sarah Silverman has done it, with these few words (drum roll, please):

“You have to listen to the college-aged, because they lead the revolution. They’re pretty much always on the right side of history.” ( http://www.mediaite.com/online/sarah-silverman-comedians-should-change-with-the-times-for-pc-college-students/ )

Or, as Shakespeare put it in Act I of Julius Caesar, “You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!”

***[Service momentarily interrupted]***

Well, there! What did I tel you? Us peple who in collidge we leaders of the revoltion! And aslo we alyaws on the rihgt side of histry! And now you heared it from Sara Silver Man hersself, and she’s a wimmim!

Boy that stopid guy who blogs hear, whut dose he know? He aint in collidge anymor. He aint on the righjt side of histry no more. My prefesser he says us milennails am not just goin to lede the revoltion–we are the revoltion! And he teached us this thing we can say, like they used to say whin he was a studint…

Power to the peple! Rihgt on!

***[Normal service resumed]***

The 1960s are like Dracula. No matter how many times you drive a stake through his heart, he always comes back in the next movie.

Helpful sociological hint: America has way too many colleges and universities with way too many people in them.