A Betrothal on the Rocks (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Introducing Chapter CDLXIX of her epic romance, Oy,Rodney, Violet Crepuscular writes, “Introducing Chapter CDLXIX of my epic romance, Oy, Rodney, we find the American adventurer, Willis Twombley, who thinks he’s Sargon of Akkad, having second thoughts about his betrothal (along with Lord Jeremy Coldsore) to Lady Margo Cargo, the richest widow in Scurveyshire.” And I dare you to try to diagram that sentence.

“She called me ‘Charlie’ when we was lost in the woods,” he coruscates to Lord Jeremy. It must be born in mind that Lady Margo thinks the two fiances are one and the same person. “She’s got a secret passion for some dude named Charlie! How can we marry her with this Charlie character somewhere in the woodwork?”

“Well, old man,” apostatizes  Jeremy, “we have to marry her or I lose Coldsore Hall to creditors! We need her money, don’t you know?”

“I’ll shoot this Charlie varmint if I ever clap eyes on him,” replies Mr. Twombley. He has already shot several of the creditors, but they’re running out of room to hide the bodies.

Meanwhile, Constable Chumley is still trying to arrest the hydra before it eats any more of the villagers. His plan is summed up simply: “Yon brocken roons a furthy way!” Lord Jeremy seems content with that.

“And now,” adds Ms. Crepuscular, “I will heighten the suspense by closing the chapter here! That’ll make you eagerly await the next one.” She is nothing if not an optimist.

2 comments on “A Betrothal on the Rocks (‘Oy, Rodney’)

  1. Your last sentence is a killer! I love it!

    Of course, I always do look forward to the next chapter of “Oy, Rodney,” but not for the reason Ms. Crepuscular imagines. 🙂

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