Can We Please Get Back to the Story? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Afternoon Funny: A Woman and Her Boyfriend Recreate Romance Novel Covers |  Glamour

“Look at that cover!” fumes author Violet Crepuscular. “Is that a load of sappy sappiness, or what? I’m going back to my old cover–I don’t care what that witch Janet Kendell-Bendle says.”

We suddenly find ourselves in Chapter CDLXXX. I think three chapters are missing. So we have Constable Chumley trying to recover from a shattering experience that has not been described in the text. Ms. Crepuscular explains.

“As the Queen of Suspense, I try not to dwell on unpleasant scenes, to say nothing of shattering experiences. I find them shattering. So much better just to say Chumley had some really close calls, came within inches of losing his life in ways that were hardly imaginable before… this! Almost as bad as winding up on the cover of Master of the Marshlands. You could die from that much sappy…”

Meanwhile the epic romance of Oy, Rodney continues with Chapter CDLXXX but without an introduction by Ms. Crepuscular, who has gone forth in search of her old cover.

Pin by Ross Johnston on totally judging books by their covers | Book parody, Book humor, Funny romance (“Aha! Found it! That’s so much better!”)

We learn that the current Mrs. Bigcheeks was once eagerly wooed by Lord Jeremy Coldsore, who was insane at the time. Is this what Constable Chumley has gone under the covers to investigate? (Confound it! I mean “undercover.”) Does it have anything to do with the bizarre seismic readings that they would have seen at the British Seismological Institute, if seismographs and seismology had been invented at this juncture of the 19th century? Is something about to break loose from under the vicar’s backyard wading pool?

Stay tuned for suspense!

3 comments on “Can We Please Get Back to the Story? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

  1. Hmm, in the new cover Lady Margo and Lord Jeremy seem to have been through a time machine. You can always tell a contemporary novel cover by the way the hero has forgotten to shave for one or two days — or maybe is in the throes of growing a beard.

  2. At this point, the chapter count is a source of suspense, in and of itself. If Violet keeps this up, the Romans may have to extend the capabilities of their numeral system. That having been said, the Vicar’s wading pool is always a source of surprises. 🙂

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