False Facts for True Laughs

Laughing Quokka on Rottnest Island Near Perth, Western Australia Stock  Image - Image of laughing, australia: 184707505

(A good laugh is gift from God. On this cold and rainy day, let’s see if we can scare one up for you. Over to you, Byron!)

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with this semester’s edition of genuine false facts from Acme False Facts Inc. Stand up straight, puff out your chest, look your listener in the eye, and recite your false fact as if there could be no possible doubt of it. Here are a few samples.

*For a good five years the British battle cruiser, H.M.S. Pumpkin, was commanded by the ship’s cat, Marky. The Admiralty was not amused.

*Edgar Rice Burroughs’ first draft of Tarzan of the Apes was rejected because he had the apes living in upstate New York. Later in life he sometimes insisted that his original idea was best.

*In 1951, playing for the Milwaukee Braves, left fielder Azog “Flip” Watson topped Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak with a 74-game streak of his own. But because the rest of the Braves were still in Boston and Watson didn’t actually exist, his streak was disallowed.

*Keebo, Nebraska, milkman Desi Formalin, the historical figure upon whose life the character of Zorro was based, died in 1921 while trying to carve a “Z” with his sword on Niagara Falls.

*Scientists in seven states are still trying to explain away the 1969 discovery of a fossilized T. rex clutching a fossilized yo-yo.

Well, how about that? Now you know some things that no one else knows (unless they buy the boxed set of False Facts for 2022)! A whopping 6% of the proceeds go to the Quokka University pick-up sticks team. For just $600, it’s a bargain! And it’s postage paid, to boot.

3 comments on “False Facts for True Laughs

  1. Laughable all right. Where does Byron come up with all these amazing “facts”? Blows me away

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