As a sort of official spokesquokka for Acme False Facts Inc., I was distressed to learn that another false facts firm is playing dirty tricks to try to grab a piece of our market. Dreadful! Not even these bicycles can cheer me up.
I’m Byron the Quokka, and I’m here to remind you that only Acme False Facts are guaranteed 100% false! So don’t buy from that other company, whose name I only mention to help you shun their product: True False Facts Ltd. Their president is no better than a vampire.
Surely the discriminating consumer of false facts can tell the difference between our product and theirs. Example:
Ours: The last talking dog in Kazakhstan got in trouble for talking to strangers.
Theirs: Socialism really works if you give it a chance.
Acme False Facts do more than educate, more than entertain! They cure itching, for one thing. Can those other guys say that?
If you want respect, and really cool peer group approval, Acme False Facts is king! All the others are just usurpers.