New Democrat Buzzword! ‘Stochastic Terrorism’

Merrick Garland's private DOJ memo prompts outrage: 'Nothing will happen to  Trump' | The Independent

The DOJ is watching you, the DOJ is listening! But as long as you never say anything, you’re probably all right. For now.

[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip]

This concept can best be illustrated by a fictional example.

Senator LaFong gives a speech criticizing our country’s trade with China. Somewhere in downtown Topeka, Kansas, Lenny Jidrool hears about the speech and decides to go out and shoot up a Chinese restaurant… which he does.

And presto! Sen. LaFong is guilty of “stochastic terrorism.”

“Stochastic,” a term borrowed from mathematics (because hardly anyone ever uses the word and has no idea what it means), has to do with events that are in very general terms predictable, but in specific terms, anything but. Thus you can be guilty of Stochastic Terrorism without ever having had any interaction with any terrorist anywhere. Heck, you can commit the crime without even knowing you were doing so.

A few points to be born in mind:

*Only Republicans can ever be guilty of Stochastic Terrorism. No Democrat will ever be prosecuted or even accused of it. You can say “George Bush blew up the World Trade Center!” till you’re blue in the face, and nothing will ever come of it.

*No member of any Cherished Minority Group can ever be guilty of Stochastic Terrorism.

*Virtually anything a conservative, a Christian, or a Republican says can be linked to some violent criminal action somewhere.

*Absolutely no proof of any kind is needed, ever, to accuse anyone of Stochastic Terrorism. Just make sure you remember that when Democrats or Cherished Minorities do the same things, it’s “restorative justice.”

Once you’ve got everybody thinking they can be shipped off to the gulag at a moment’s notice without understanding any reason for it, the Party will have an easy time keeping the plebs in line.

2 comments on “New Democrat Buzzword! ‘Stochastic Terrorism’

    1. The beauty of it is, for Democrats, *everybody’s guilty*, no one’s safe.
      How is it possible that they really do get more horrible by the day? How do they do that?

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