Mrs. Bates for U.S. Senate!

Psycho | "Mrs. Bates ?" ('Mrs. Bates' and diorama by RK / 'W… | Flickr

Mrs. Athalia Bates, best known as Norman Bates’ mother in Psycho, is running for re-election to the Senate. The long-time Democrat has been a fixture in the Senate since 1960, when a local funeral home mysteriously “lost” her.

“The fact that she is dead is something that only a bigoted Republican steeped in liveism would ever hold against her,” said Mark Kardz, Democrat Party strategist. “She never committed those murders! Her son did–and he’s better now.

“Everybody knows that dead people are a major component of our party’s voting base–and who better than Mrs. Bates to represent them? And you didn’t hear it from me, but Athaliah Bates taught V.P. Kamala Harris everything she knows! And not only that: President Biden plays pinochle with her every other night. And she always wins!”

The secret of Mrs. Bates’ success, he said, “Is that she fits right in! She’s sort of our party personified. Everything you would ever expect from a Democrat, you get from Mrs. Bates.”

It has not yet been decided which state Mrs. Bates will represent. It’s usually California, “But New York is making a serious pitch for her this year,” said Kardz.

7 comments on “Mrs. Bates for U.S. Senate!

  1. I love it! A masterpiece!
    But you’d better watch out, or “liveism” will be added to the leftists’ arsenal of invective. 🙂

  2. Instead of running for U.S. Senate, I think she should go for the top spot, the President. If Biden can “win,” surely, there is a good chance that so could Mrs. Bates. Oh, wait, the election for the president is still a long way off, but that should make no difference, if she runs early, she can win right away, after all, she would be the only candidate on the ballad at this time.

    1. Well, if she starts now, there’ll be time to manufacture many truckloads of ballots to deliver by 2024 when the polls open — I mean, of course, after the polls close and the poll watchers have gone home.

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