Byron’s TV Listings, June 17

TV Guide March 22-28 1980 (3) | | Retrohound | Flickr

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with this week’s glorious TV brought to you by Quokka University. It’s a good thing Lee put this off for a while: somehow a lot of silly stuff crept in and I had to get rid of it. Only good stuff left! Like these:

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 11   MAMA GESUNDHEIT’S ROWBOAT–Sitcom

Eccentric billionaire Mama Gesundheit (Linda Hunt) takes deserving couples for rowboat rides on The Lake of No Return; and few of them are ever seen again! This week: newlywed kung-fu experts Steve and Bessie (Eddie Albert, Dame Judith Anderson) try to take over the rowboat. Song: “How Dry I Am.”


Now that you’ve got your 9-foot-long Komodo dragon, how do you get him not to mess up your house? Ed “Stumpy” Fongo risks his life to show you how! Also: What to do when your wolverine gets cranky.

7:45 P.M.  NEWS FOR NINNIES–News & commentary

Do you believe everything you see on TV? If you do, this is the news show for you! Tonight: Baker makes exploding wedding cake; high school football star talks backwards; U.S. Senator says Guam is drifting off its location and must be towed back. Anchor: This guy who talks like Popeye the Sailor.

8 P.M.  MOVIE–Medical thriller

In “The Spandex Epidemic” (Bulgarian, 1991; 455 minutes), horrible weather cuts off from civilization a scientific base in Antarctica–and everyone’s clothes turn into Spandex. Dr. Phil: Mike Mazurki. Dr. Phyllis: Jane Seymour. Dr. Philbert: Orville Redenbacher. Alfred Hitchcock, much against his will, makes a cameo that will give you fits!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for this afternoon. We’re trying very hard to bring you only serious dramatic fare.

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Hurry home before the broadcasts start! Byron the Quokka, signing off.

6 comments on “Byron’s TV Listings, June 17

  1. That is one great (and funny) lineup for the coming week. All four listings are great comical fare. “…Guam is drifting off its location and must be towed back.” Ha, ha, ha…

    1. Would you believe it? This is the first comment I’ve had here all day (6 p.m. our time).
      We do have a Congressman who fears Guam will “capsize” if any more Marines are stationed on it.

  2. Tell that Congressman to import a herd of elephants, and place them on the opposite side of the island. That should balance things out. Wait, just wait…maybe we should rethink that. All that added weight just might sink the whole island!

    Depending on the time zone in the US, we are about 12 hours ahead here in the Philippines. So, if it’s morning there, it’s evening here. Sometimes that makes doing any kind of business related things, like dealing with a bank on the phone to get a problem fixed, a bit hard.

  3. MAMA GESUNDHEIT’S ROWBOAT–Sitcom. maybe a better theme song would be “Life Is But a Dream.” HOUSEBREAKING DANGEROUS WILD ANIMALS–Educational; I had a friend who had a pet mountain lion – I never felt comfortable around it. NEWS FOR NINNIES–News & commentary, talking backwards would be quite a trick. I once learned to say the alphabet backwards but stopped practicing it so now I can’t. MOVIE–Medical thriller, I loved trying to see Hitchcock’s cameos in his movies.

    1. A mountain lion is nothing more than a big friendly house cat. The only two differences, you need a bathtub size litter box, and sometimes people are on their menu.

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