Byron’s TV Listings [Emergency Edition]

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Greetings, earthlings! Byron the Quokka here, trying to clean up the mess made here by Verizon this past weekend. And they lied about it, too. “Please, Byron, fix it!” Yeah, boss. Comin’ right up. But first, some TV listings.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 09  TRUE OR FALSE?–Game show

This week: Are “Flushable Wipes” really flushable? Watch hapless contests test several brands to see! Host: Sir Cedric Snurr, Fifth Earl of Pooh. Special cameo appearance by the June Taylor Dancers; their wipes turned out to be not flushable.

Ch. 10  COCCYX BUSTERS!–Another game show

You know those chairs you have in front of your desk, for people to sit in if they have to talk to you? They’re always so uncomfortable! Join host Genghis Khan as he experiments to find out which company’s chairs are hardest to sit in–and watch the poor guests squirm, trying to get comfy!

7:44 P. M.  Ch. 14   NEWS FROM OTHER PLANETS–Ridiculous!

Join anchorwoman Elizabeth Warren and her stable of psychics as they intuit the news from other planets! Tonight: How Jupiter deals with nuisance phone calls; a whole galaxy without Internet access; and the latest Martian fashions.

8 P.M.   Ch. 62  MOVIE–(indescribable: take two of these pills and go to bed)

In Major Alfalfa’s Cattle Drive, Wyatt Earp (Linda Hunt) tries to stop the Major  (William Shatner) from driving his herd of longhorns from Pittsburgh to Pitcairn Island. Condemned by the President’s Council on Geography That Isn’t B.S.

Well, that’s all I could scrape up at short notice. Where’s Violet Crepuscular when you need her?

1,200+ Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock | Quokka selfie, Quokka smile, Quokka smiling

“Bring back the viewers–who? Me?” Byron the Quokka signing off.

9 comments on “Byron’s TV Listings [Emergency Edition]

  1. The June Taylor Dancers must have objected to the chairs in “Coccyx Busters” and danced out in a huff (a huff is a complicated dance pattern), which explains why they don’t show up in this week’s listing. Right?

    1. I just plain forgot them, trying frantically to catch up to the three days I lost. Should I go back and put them in somewhere?

    2. Nah, if they waltzed out because of those chairs, they’ll waltz back in again for next week’s shows. 😄

    1. Coccyx Busters…awe well, it don’t do not sounds greatly to me, but painfully and with throbbings and hurtings my bottom…just thinking about it makes it throb and pulse with great aches, discomfort and agonies. Just the thought sends shivers up and down my spine over and over, memories of the last two times, when it ached for weeks after it forcefully came in contact with a very hard unyielding surface.

  2. TRUE OR FALSE?–Game show – game shows seem to be making a comeback. The $100,000 Pyramid keeps being reincarnated, and second in popularity to Jeopardy. COCCYX BUSTERS! – good choice with Genghis Khan hosting. NEWS FROM OTHER PLANETS – I bet Elon Musk will watch this one. MOVIE–indescribable – Linda Hunt as Wyat Earp? Yes, indescribable.

    1. A couple of my friends appeared as contestants on the $100,000 Pyramid, some years ago. They were actors. The show gave them fake biographies. *Sigh* No one tells the truth out there.

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