Coming soon, to your state: “Affirming everything!“
Gov. Gavin Noisome and the California legislature are working to craft an “affirming care” law that will require all parents to “affirm” their children’s life and career plans–and if they don’t, a court will remove the child from the family and arrange for it (?) to be raised by apes.
“It’s really quite simple,” explains Rep. Hugh Betcha. “Say your five-year-old wants to be a cowboy, and therefor requires the parents to provide him with a horse and a six-gun. Well, the law says they’ll have to ‘affirm that’ by carrying out the child’s wishes. And if they don’t…” He snickered knowingly.
A panel of public school teachers, appointed by teachers’ union bosses, will meet regularly to decide which of their students’ parents are fit to continue being parents. If they don’t make the grade, said Betcha, “Well, you just won’t see them around anymore.”
With a twinkle in his eye, the governor laughed off efforts to stop the bill in committee.
“Once you’ve got the voting machines under control,” he chuckled, “you can do whatever you want!”