Happy New Year, everybody! Byron the Quokka here–and if our Quokka University TV this weekend isn’t better than those shows in TV Guide, I’ll eat your hat!
A brief sampling:
4:30 P.M. Ch. 09 THE EVIL FAMILY OF LUNATICS–Dark melodrama
Meet the Crackpot Family (Jackie Gleason, Susan Sontag, Mel Gibson, Sally Struthers, and Alvin the Octopus)–thieves, frauds, and (we blush to say it) cannibals! Tonight: The Crackpots ambush a wagon train led by a man who thinks he’s Achilles (Soupy Sales). Special guest star: Pat Sajak from “Wheel of Fortune.”
Ch. 14 MI TIO ESTA ENFERMO–A challenge to viewers
Never mind the Spanish title, which means “My uncle is sick.” In this series, every character speaks a different language and no one understands anybody else. “May be the worst TV show ever!” writes a famous critic who doesn’t want anyone to know he watches this garbage. Wait’ll you hear Ricardo Montalban trying to speak Hawaiian.
5 P.M. Ch. 03 NEBBISH NEWS–For pitiful, ineffectual nobodies
“There are more of us out there than you thought!” is anchorwoman Marcie Pangolin’s motto. News stories specially selected for timid, submissive, downtrodden schmoes. Tonight: Sports teams that refuse to try to win. Reported by some very shy person who will not give his name or appear on camera.
5:07 P.M. Ch. 89 MOVIE–Murder mystery with lizards
Nobody Home in Bubo’s House (Austro-Hungarian, 1966; 940 minutes) stars persons drafted off the street, plus Tab Hunter as the maniacal Dr. Skwitt, who has trained small lizards to terrorize the city of Prague. Notable for being the only movie that Sen. Jacob Javits ever appeared in, and that by accident. And he split his pants, too.
Well now, folks, you can’t go far wrong with any one of these shows; and there are, of course, many more. Load up on snacks!
The blue tag is pretty tasty, too; but you’re better off sticking to leaves.
You did it again, Byron. Thanks for keeping us up to date.
THE EVIL FAMILY OF LUNATICS–Dark melodrama – What a lineup of stars – who wouldn’t want to tune in for this. MI TIO ESTA ENFERMO–A challenge to viewers – This one could easily be filmed at Times Square on New Years Eve. NEBBISH NEWS–For pitiful, ineffectual nobodies – at first, I thought this show could be in competition with MSNBC until I saw the anchors were humble. Ch. 89 MOVIE–Murder mystery with lizards – Good old fashion horror movie, who can resist? Leave it to the European to make it so long.
They tried to feature 100 different lizard species, which took a lot of time and patience.