[Publisher’s note: You wouldn’t believe the response we got yesterday when we forgot to run the weekly piece by Joe Collidge. It would be impossible to imagine a more radical number of comments. Anyway, here he is.]
Graduration “frum” Collidge it “is lyke” when a catterpiller it has A Metta-More-Fosis!! Oar when sumb boddy Reely Grate he becombs A godd!!!!!!!!!! (Like Pressadint O’Bomma!! And Pressadint Jobydin! Butt Pressadint O’Bomma he is “a” Bigger godd than Jobybdin!!)
Sumb “of” uss we shoed Up foar Graduration yeasterday And thay woodnt let us In!!!!!! Well, we whanted our Dipploamers!! We hased to caul the Poalice too errest The Kampus Kops!!! And thenn we fyned thay Nevver Botherd to Prinnt Up our dipploamers!!!!! in the frist plaice!
This heer stuph it wooont hapen ennymoar Wen Kamaller *She* is Pressadint!!!!! A lott of stuph woont hapen ennymoar!!!!! Evry One thay whil HAS To Go “to” Collidge and enny-boddy “hoo” tryze to Get Out “of” It,, Thay whil GO To JALE!!!!
I amb sure the Deen she tolled us that we auwll Get Dipploamers wen “we” Gradurate!!!!
Oh no! Don’t tell me Joe Collidge will no longer be at collidge! Or does graduation at his collidge mean that now he goes on to gradjit skool?
He doesn’t have enough credits to graduate. L:ooks like he’ll be there another year, at least.
Soon there will be diplomas handed out like participation trophies. 🙂
You mean they’re not doing that already?
So long as you pay your tuition. 🙂
Sounds like the “Hotel California” where you can never leave. How to make higher education even worse? Make if free for everyone – better yet, make it mandatory for everyone.
Please! You’re gonna give me nightmares.