Tag: college makes you stupid

Now This Heer It ‘Is” Hyer Edducasion!!!!! REPRINT

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Cartoon vampire. Vector illustration with simple gradients. All in a single layer.

Is a lot “of” collidges run bye Vampires?

Heer at thiss hear collidge we “are” So Jellice of the Eunavursiddy of Whiskonsin!!! Do you “know” what they Got?? THEY GOT EKO-FEMBINISM!!!!!!

Thay has a prefesster too, “he” “is” fokissed on Trands-Giner Studdies, Queer Theery, Black femmanist theery, Vampire Litterture, and Germin litterture And “fillum” (https://www.campusreform.org/article/u-wisconsin-offers-lgbt-courses-queering-ecofeminism-performance-activism/26199). Wye caint “this” “g”uy teech At our collidge?!?! He musst “be”, lyke, The Smarttist “Man” In The Whorld [Not counting Pressadint Obomma, he “is” THE Smartist:,” hands down)!!!

Y’know, sumb-haow I knew thare hased “tobe” Vampires in this,, sumb-whare!! I betcha iff yiu “loooked” harrd Enugh and long Enogh yuiu wood Alyaws whyned Up whith Vampires!!!!!!! Thay Say the cheef pressadint of “our” collidge, he Is A VAMPIRE!!! Yiu nevver seen himb “eeting” Garlick!! I wunder iff The Mummy he is “in onn it” too!!! Betcha heeze In “The” Seller sumb-plaice!!! Whith Jobydin!!!!!!!

Speeking “of” Jobydin–wye doughnt thay Let himb be a Vampire??? Then “he” cood keeep On bein Preszadint!!!! Oar thay cood “maik himb” into a Mummy, jist a cupp-ful of Tana Leafs, thay “whil doo” the Trick!!!!!

Greta Gets an Honorary Ph. D.–in Theology! REPRINT FROM 2023

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Greta Thunberg: Kids 'will never forgive' you for failing on climate change | CNN

Would you buy a used climate from this kid?

No, I didn’t make this up, it’s not a satire.

Greta Thunberg, all of 20 years old, has been awarded an honorary doctorate in Theology by Helsinki University (https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/4139802/posts).

Is this rich, or what? When did this poster child for Climbit Chainge study theology? Where did she study it? Is there any evidence that suggests she knows the least thing about theology?

Yeahbut, yeahbut! Climbit Chainge is a RELIGION, man! She don’t need no stinkin’ degree! Except now she has one. “Dr. Thunberg.” It’s enough to make a pile of bricks break down and cry.

What can you say? Colleges and universities have gone plumb crazy, all over the world. What in the world can they “teach” anybody?

It sounds like a joke–but who’s laughing?

Joe Collidge: GOP Unleeshes Radio-Active Wasps! REPRINT

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From August 1, 2025

Yowch! That hurt!

I gotted stinged By a Wassp today “and” it reely Hurt!!!

And “then” I fowned Out the Wassps thay “are” Radio Active!!! That’s why yiu heer all that Buzzing “on yore” Radio wen yiu try “to” play Woke Music!!!!!

This heer It Is Darnold Trumpt’s fawlt!!!! HE MAID THEMB WASSPS RADIO ACTIVE!!!!!! Thay are Repubickan Wassps!!! Thay been traned “to” Sting us so we woont Voate!!!!! Yiu KNOW Kamalalala she wood “Be” Pressidint if “it” wazznt for all them wassps!! And heer Is A Pixture of Jeff Goldbloom he is turning into a wassp becose he got stinged by Radio-Active and look watt it Done To Himb!!!!

I wunder watt wood of hapened iff “it was” a  Radio-Active Potater Beeatle!!!!!!

We has to kick Trumpt “out of” the Wite Hause befoar Evvry Boddy in it thay tourn In-to Radio-Active buggs!!!!!!!!! Do the Ellecsion Over and putt Kamalalala back in Orfice befoar Its Twoo Layte!!!!

Awl my prefessers at Collidge thinck so!!!!!!

‘Put’ This Hear Juj in Jale!!!!! REPRINT

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From November 11, 2022

[Last week we had a cock-up on the college front and Joe Collidge failed to appear in his usual Friday slot. Amazingly, no one complained.]

Didd yiu heer the tearrable news??? I cant beleave “it!”!” And jist affter “we winned” the Elexion tooo!!!!!!!

Some stopid juj in Tecksis ((oar “was” it Indier? i get them twoo micksed up!!)) he sayed thare Cant “be” “no” Stoodint Lone Fourgiftness!!!!!

Sints wen did anny boddy maik himb Pressadint??? Heer “at” our Collidge, “the” Stoodint Soviet we instintlie sended Off “a” leter to Pressadint Jobiden to tel himb he shood awght “to” throe That Thare Juj in jale!!!! and maby feeed himb To “the” allygaters tooo!!!!!! HOW DAIR HE??? Whoo dose “he” Thinck he “is?”!” Wat kined Of dimmocrasee Is it “wen” sumb juj he woont “let the” Pressadint do stuph???

Of corse we has bin Saying awl “allong” that thare shood awght To Be Freee Collidge foar evvry one butt Cristchins!!!!! and a free bortion too!!! If we hadded Soshalism no-boddy wood has to pay foar “enny-Thing!!”” And Collidge it “is” a Nessessaty Of Lyfe!!!!!! I lernt that In Nothing Studies!!

Whithout All “the” “grate” eddicasion i get In Collidge, I wood Be a Boob!!!!

Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!! REPRINT

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From January 4, 2019

Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!

Joe Collidge Is… Pregnant? REPRINT

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Conceptual image of a pregnant man Stock Photo - Alamy

From  August 18, 2023

 

(And you thought it was a beer belly!)

O waht grate news!! Wahoo!!! The AM.A thay has figgred Out “haow to” get Trans Wimmins who Used “to” Be Men, haow to Get us Pregganint!!!!!!!!!!

It whil ownly Cost 300$Thowzind each,, “and” thay whil Trans Plannt a Yuteriss into yore gutz and Thare yiu go,,, yiu Can “be” Pregganint jist lyke a regglur wimmin ((OOps! i dint meen it!! Thare “Is” NO SUTCH THING as a Regglur Wimmin, we “Are” awl wahttevver )we Identrify As!!!!!

Iff yiu “get one(1)” Of themb yutarisses Trans Plant, heer it Is “The” Besst Thing abuot It—Yiu duzznt has “to” pay! The Guvvermint thay wil pay!!! Awl the munny it whil com fromb Tackses, witch “is” the “saim” as getting It For Free!!!!! How grate Is that?!?!?

Re-memmber, Sciyints It “is” awlyaws Rite and thare is lotza Sciyintists in the AM,A and sumb Of themb thay been to Meddackle Skool!!!!!

[Editor’s Note: You could look it up.]

We Has ‘Got’ To Ban Coughffee!!! REPRINT

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From January 20, 2023

Coffee Cup Convection | A Moment of Science - Indiana Public Media

Oh, “man”!”! We has jist fowned Out “that” coughffee “it” cawzes Climbit Chainge!!!! So we cauled a Merjintsy Meting “of The” Stoodint Soviet to de-mannd thay Ban Coughffee heer “At” collidge!!!!

We whur goingto voat “To” Ban Evvrything!!! but desiddid Not To Doo That becoze thenn Pot it wood “get bannned” and wee has Nutthing Left “to” Live Foar!!!!!! Suure glad we duckked That Bullit!!! So insted we jist bannned Coughffee!!

I knowed coughffee it Is Racist,, but i diddn Know “it is aslo” maiking the Climbit Chainge!! So fromb nhow On, ownly Spacial Heumin Beans lyke Johhn Kery shood be aloud “to”” Drinck It!!!!! We diddn Know That till this heer gye At Daavos he sayed so!!!!!! He aslo sayed We shood Eat Bugs and i tryed “It” oncet butt it hadd awl themb Legs kickkin and scrachin At Oncet and it got reely icky wen i chooed It!!!!!! Mayby a centerpeed it “whas” the rong kyned Of Bug!!!!

We voated yumannamus to Ban Coughffee and enny boddy whoo trys “to Drinck It” nhow,, thay whil Be Sari!!!!!

I Can Too Fyned My A*__!!! REPRINT

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1,234 Clueless Cartoon Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

From  November 2022

Soawry I wassnt heer Yeasterday ware “I” amb souposed “to-Be”!”!” It was a Merjintsy!!!

We was hasing A de-bait abuot tying yore Shoos it “maiks” yiu A Racist! and this Biggit Hater he sayed “to” me “Yiu Are “a” toettle Doofus,, yiu cuddnt Fyned yore A-*-* whith Boath hands!!!”! And i sayed “I” “can tooo!” and he sayed “Proove it!”

And that “is” ware I was awl Day, prooving it.

Imadjin “my” horrar wen I turnt Aruound reel fasst and stil cuddnt See My Hynie!!!! Frist i looked “alll oaver The” roomb but it Wassnt Thare and thenn I looked Out-Syde and it wassnt thare neether and I stukk my Hands “in” the Goal-Fish Pond and fellt awl aruound “the” bottum but no luck!!! And aslo the Fish thay bitt me!!

Well I looked awl oaver “The” Kampas and i cuddnt fyned My A*-*- no-ware!!!!! Nhow i was Gettting whurried!! Maby Elecsion De-Nyers thay Took It!!! Oar Fobo-phobes!!! Probbly Wyte Strupremeists!!!!!!

I looked awl Day and awl Nite and i got Tyred and so I whent “to” Sit Daown and sumb boddy thay puled “The” Chare oaut fromb Undder “me” and i falled daown and it Reely “huerted”–And soddenly i Knowed ware “it was!!”” Becawse I yellled Oaut “Oh my A-S-S!””! And thare it Whas!!!! Ware i cudd Rubb “it” whith boath hands!!!! Watt a re-leaf!!!!!!

Joe Collidge: ‘I’m OK, Yore Not’ REPRINT

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Parints thay shood “jist” Shut UP!!!!!!

I reeded this “here” big long Artacle today!

https://justthenews.com/politics-policy/education/americas-richest-county-fights-trump-protect-boys-girls-restrooms-caves

(And thay say I “caint” reed!!!)

Fynely a juj says Its OK! fore Boyz to “use” Girls bath roombs!! ITS ABUOUT TYME!!!!!!

Butt then thay “tern aruound” and say we caint Forsse teetchers and prinsipples to use “Prefurd Pronowns”wen thay Tawk!!! Well watt kynde “Of” eddication IS That??? And nhow themb Fashists thay “want To” stopp “the” skools fromb giving kids a Bortion weather thayr Parints lyke It “or” NOT!!!! If That’s Eddication, then I’M a Axolotl!!!!!!!

Parints thay shood jist Butt Out “of” thare Kidz lyves!!!! PAY YORE SKOOL TACKS AND JIST SHUT UPP ABUOUT IT!!!!!! If I whant a Bortion, Isle get “my Secks” chainged and get Preganint and have a Bortion!!!!!! Becose the Skool whil Pay “for It!”!”!

Parints thay “are alyaws” intorfearing whith Pubic Eddication, thay shood awl Be throwed In Jail!!!!!

College Kiddies Too Upset to Take Exams REPRINT

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From November 11, 2016

In the wake of Donald Trump’s win over the Clinton crime family, collidge students throughout the land have pleaded with their professors to postpone the mid-term exams, the precious little pipsqueaks being much too emotionally traumatized to take exams; and more than just a few professors have been granting that request ( http://www.weeklystandard.com/schools-offer-counseling-professors-postpone-exams-after-trump-win/article/2005314 ). American University even provided students with a “vigil”–you know, like liberals have for multiple murderers who are about to get executed and oh, it’s so cruel and heartless! Gimme one of those candles…

Y’know, I think I’ve finally figured out what college is for, what role it plays in the life of America.

College is for storage.

Yup, that’s all it is–a really expensive and deceptive way to keep unemployable people off the streets and out of mischief, while giving the Left another four years–or more!–to turn the kiddies’ minds to mush. With an economy hamstrung by the government unable to generate jobs for everyone, we have millions of young people who need to be warehoused.

While keeping them out of the soup kitchens, college provides thousands and thousands of jobs for persons who would otherwise be completely useless. The lib/prog/Democrat dream of “universal free college” is already almost a tautology: virtually everybody who wants to go is already going. Of course, it ain’t “free.” It won’t be free until Dems are able to stick America’s defenseless working people with the tab.

But suddenly we’re not quite as defenseless as we used to be:

Because, by the mercy of God, the bad guys didn’t win this election and have lost their power to direct events.

Learn to love the sound of brainwashed college students howling in the night. It is the sound of victory.