Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!
And hear thay are!
We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!
We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!
We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!
We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!
We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!
Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]
And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!
So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!
I actually went to this shabby excuse for higher education, Rutgers University. Back then (1967-71), they pretty much beat it into your head that you had to dissent–well, not from what they were selling: you had to “dissent” from what your parents, your church, and your country stood for.
Now it’s even loonier.
Yup, now there’s no free speech at all! In fairness to the past, a lot of the excellent professors that I had would be kicked out today for failure to be Politically Correct.
Trust me on this: We Americans are “educating” ourselves to death.
Hear at Collidge our Stodent Soviet thay jist fowned “out” abote Dart-Mouth Collidge Liberry thay now “has” Got Femmanist Geogerphy (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10713) and “so” thay Has “voted” we Going “To” has it tooo!! That whey It “wil” Help us get ridd “of” Masculinnest Pracktuses!
I dont “think” we had no Geogarphy in “high” scool so at frist i dint “know” waht It “is” butt that is al Cleered up now!! The Siance of Geogarphy it is al abote stuff it is reel Hard to spel!!!! Butt one thing it Cann do is Helpe us “to” under stand that Men who eet meat thay are Racists and thay amb “up-hold Toxick Macsulinnaty!! Wimmins who eet meat thay are Good!
Wel we jist Cant weight to learn Al Abote Femmanist Theery and Methadolajee it will Make us evin Smarter! then we are Allreddy!! Some Racist he sayed Geogerphy it “is” abote ware things are and plaices and Contenints so we beet him up!!! My prefesser he sayed Geogorphy it is al abote Changing The “Whirld!!”
Sombtimes Collidge it is Hard becose yiu nevver runs Out “of” New stuff to larn and aslo al the Time yiu “hasto” fihght Aginst Wite Prifflidge and Racism and Climbit Change De Nile! Sombtimes yiu jist dont Got “the” Strenth to do nothing but “make” them Litle Snow Persons out “Of” Play-Doh i maid a litle Pressadint OBoma and we warshippped him!!!
The latest college howler comes from Arizona State University, where students are being given credit for their final exams if they organize an “anti-Trump protest” instead of taking the test ( https://heatst.com/culture-wars/arizona-state-u-lets-students-organize-anti-trump-protest-instead-of-taking-final-exam/ ).
Not that it matters. The professor who’s doing this is a professor of “Global Politics of Human Rights.” Whatever the hell that is. “Hire me right away! I’ve got a degree in Global Politics of Human Rights!”
At least one Women and Gender Studies student–hey, can I please wake up now?–joined the protest, even though she wasn’t in the professor’s class.
Does even the least shred of doubt remain, that these colleges and universities are incontinently wasting time and money on a scale hitherto only seen in government? Is there any sane reason for continuing to pump public money into these institutions? Is there even any half-baked silly reason to continue to send young people there?
All rhetorical questions, of course.
I almost wonder what a final exam would look like, in Global Politics of Human Rights, and what kind of blather you would have to spew to pass it. But I’m not sure I’d be up to actually looking at it.
I estimate at least 90% of our country’s higher education is sheer waste and pure twaddle. Very little that is good can happen here until we get rid of it.
Any self-respecting nation would have already done so.
In the wake of Donald Trump’s win over the Clinton crime family, collidge students throughout the land have pleaded with their professors to postpone the mid-term exams, the precious little pipsqueaks being much too emotionally traumatized to take exams; and more than just a few professors have been granting that request ( http://www.weeklystandard.com/schools-offer-counseling-professors-postpone-exams-after-trump-win/article/2005314 ). American University even provided students with a “vigil”–you know, like liberals have for multiple murderers who are about to get executed and oh, it’s so cruel and heartless! Gimme one of those candles…
Y’know, I think I’ve finally figured out what college is for, what role it plays in the life of America.
College is for storage.
Yup, that’s all it is–a really expensive and deceptive way to keep unemployable people off the streets and out of mischief, while giving the Left another four years–or more!–to turn the kiddies’ minds to mush. With an economy hamstrung by the government unable to generate jobs for everyone, we have millions of young people who need to be warehoused.
While keeping them out of the soup kitchens, college provides thousands and thousands of jobs for persons who would otherwise be completely useless. The lib/prog/Democrat dream of “universal free college” is already almost a tautology: virtually everybody who wants to go is already going. Of course, it ain’t “free.” It won’t be free until Dems are able to stick America’s defenseless working people with the tab.
But suddenly we’re not quite as defenseless as we used to be:
Because, by the mercy of God, the bad guys didn’t win this election and have lost their power to direct events.
Learn to love the sound of brainwashed college students howling in the night. It is the sound of victory.