Am I Really Here?

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I need some restful sleep. I need for my mind to STOP manufacturing silly s*** that scares me.

Like last night, for instance. I dreamt I was out on the sidewalk trying to talk to people, but they just ignored me. Along came my old friend, Jim–at last, a friendly face! “Jim! Jim! Boy, am I glad to see you!”

But he neither saw nor heard me. Just went on his way.

Maybe I was a ghost and didn’t know it.

So, yeah, I’m worried about my immediate future, I need your prayers and am not ashamed to ask for them, and I’d like to get back into the visible world.

Meanwhile, I guess it’s time to move on to the nooze. Calloo, callay, O frabjous day…

11 comments on “Am I Really Here?

  1. Lee-
    Maybe intense (or maybe an hour) of reading God’s Word will bring healing to your mind – He is the King of Peace, and blesses those who seek Him with His peace (Philippians 4:6-7).

  2. That actually sounds like a typical anxiety or frustration dream. My own recurrent version of such dreams is not being able to find my car. I know where I parked it — or maybe I don’t? — but it’s not there, or anywhere nearby, or come to think of it the parking lot looks different, or…. And so on. It’s usually a sign of something going on in my life that I feel helpless or overly pressured about. Sometimes in the dream I start thinking, “This is just like one of those anxiety dreams, only this time it’s real.” But of course it isn’t.

    What we have to do is remind ourselves that “it was just a dream” instead of adding the frustration with the dream to all our other frustrations. And if it really is a message from God, He’ll find another way of contacting you. He always does. Trust in Him. He never fails us.

    Meanwhile, I continue holding you in prayer.

    1. Exactly. I’ve been dealing with some practical issues, of late, and I’ve had some frustration dreams, of my own. One of the trickiest things in life is understanding what we can control, and what we cannot control. When we are faced with situations beyond our control, it’s completely natural to feel a bit overwhelmed, and this can show up in our dreams.

      But it’s not real. Dreams are just your mind sorting through the information it has taken in, some of which is factual, some erroneous and some is just imaginary. But, NONE of it is real. Once you wake up, the dream is over, and you can resume dealing with the world on your own terms.

      You’ve been through a lot, Lee, and I can only imagine the mental and emotional burdens that have been placed upon your shoulders. Much of what you’ve been through is firmly in the realm of things beyond your control, but you have fought back, quite successfully. With the help of modern medicine, you’ve defeated rectal cancer. That is a miracle! If this had happened 60 years ago, that would not have been a likely outcome.

      Colon cancer is not my idea of a good time, but they seem to have a handle on it and the surgical intervention should do the trick. The first day or two out of surgery will be no picnic, but intestinal tissue tends to heal rapidly, so your recovery should be rapid. Once again, you are far better off than someone with the same problem would have been had this happened in the 1960s.

      The prostate procedure is finished and you should experience the benefits soon. It doesn’t sound like fun, but it beats a prostatectomy. Once again, your outcome is far better than it would have been in your grandfather’s day.

      Concentrate on the next step, and don’t allow your thoughts to go beyond that. I know that there are more issues, but the immediate challenge is all you can deal with, at this time. You’ll get through it, and every hurdle you pass adds to your fund of successes. It also adds to your strength.

      There’s an old story about a guy that is living in an area where a flood is expected. The sheriff asks him to leave, but he answers: “God will rescue me”. When the water rises to the point that a rowboat is required to get around, he is offered an escape by a neighbor with a rowboat, be he answers: “God will rescue me”. Later on, when he has to stay on the upper floor to avoid the water, a motorboat pulls alongside the second story window, offering escape, but he answers: “God will rescue me”.

      Eventually he has to climb to the roof and a helicopter lowers a rope. But he rejects the offer saying: “God will rescue me”. Finally, he drowns and finds himself in the direct presence of God. He asks God: “why did you let me drown”? God replies: “I sent two boats and a helicopter”.

      All healing is from God, and you should pray for healing, just as I have prayed for your healing. But sometimes the answer doesn’t come the way we expect, or would most desire. You’ve been healed of rectal cancer and received treatment for benign prostatic hyperplasia, from some obviously skilled medical professionals. One more big event, which will extend your life. That’s the helicopter, which can save you from something much worse. This will followed by another surgery to make life and mobility a lot easier. You can do this, with God’s help, but you don’t have to think about that, for the time being.

  3. Jabberwocky
    By Lewis Carroll

    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”

    He took his vorpal sword in hand;
    Long time the manxome foe he sought—
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree
    And stood awhile in thought.

    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.

    “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
    He chortled in his joy.

    ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    Elder Mike

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