Byron’s TV Listings, March 1

The Essential TV Guide Fall Previews of the 80s, Part 5 ...

G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls–and welcome to March! Byron the Quokka here, with this weekend’s televisual treats lined up for you, courtesy of Quokka University. Without further ado, dig these samples!

Saturday

4:15 a.m.  Ch. 48  INSOMNIACS’ THEATER–All sorts of stuff

Host Lispin’ Larry Thmith introduces episode 231 of My Coccyx Won’t Quit! The Werner Schmegeggi Story, starring Yi-Fan Hao and Freddy the Field Mouse. This week: Werner learns how to bake a T-shirt. Special guest: Man who thinks he’s Sargon of Akkad, but doesn’t look it.

7:06 a.m.  Ch. 16  DRIVEL!–Public affairs and idiots

If you’re feeling like you can never face that waxy build-up on your kitchen floor, or your pet screech owl letting it all hang out in the middle of the night, then Drivel! is the show for you–six solid hours of blah-blah-blah, guaranteed to put you to sleep. Certified idiots discussing non-existent issues: does that sound familiar?

8:30 a.m.  Ch. 08  MR. POYZIN’S NEIGHBORHOOD–Horror and suspense

This week: Survivors of Mr. Poyzin’s victims get together to keep him from getting his own TV show. Zelly the Wart Hog: himself. Yogurt-face: Linda McCrock., Brought to you by Osbert’s Paint Chips.

9:15 a.m.  Ch. 37  TV’S MOST HATED HOSTS–Anthropology

Who are the most obnoxious hosts on TV? [My vote’s for that guy who laughs uncontrollably as he reads the nooze.] Who will wind up being tossed screaming into the live volcano? They’re up against the most vengeful and vicious fans in all of TV Land! So hang onto your hat…

Meet the Quokka

Byron the Quokka signing off

6 comments on “Byron’s TV Listings, March 1

  1. I wonder if the real Sargon of Akkad ever tires of all these people who think they are him? Some believe that Sargon of Akkad was the biblical Nimrod.

  2. Hi there, Byron ol’ chum. I thought you might not be with us today, but you made it and that is good.

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