Great Caesar’s ghost, have we got TV shows for you! G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls: Byron the Quokka here, with TV that’ll make your socks roll up and down, courtesy of Quokka University. With no further ado, here’s a sample.
Saturday
7:33 a.m. Ch. 41 SUPER-FAST LECTURES–Educational TV
If you don’t have an hour to sit there watching some la-dee-dah documentary… Well, how about if it was only six or seven minutes? The elves at Pull-the-Other-One University have boiled regular lectures down to a rapidly digestible form. Just by talking really fast and speeding up the video!
8:00 a.m. Ch. 09 IF A STUNT MAN CAN DO IT…–DIY, as it were
Retired Hollywood stunt man Floyd “Gimpy” Tablecloth shows that anyone can fall down a long flight of stairs, get hit on the head with a chair, or crash through a picture window–“All it takes is desire!” This week: How to fall out of an airplane and land on the inflated safety mattress. “Your family will plotz when they see this!” Floyd says.
4:06 p.m. Ch. 18 TARZAN THE CARDBOARD CUT-OUT–Adventure
All-new (well, not ancient!) Bulgarian action series, which the screen actors’ union initially blocked, but the producer got around it by using cardboard figures rather than live actors. This week: Tarzan (Yusha Pllynnick) gets a moveable arm–in addition to the other two that don’t move.
5:00 p.m. Ch. 28 WACKY WORLD OF SPORTS–(What do you expect?)
“Everything’s a sport!” crows play-by-play man Vincent Caterpillar. Tonight: piggyback race through a swamp; making goofy faces in the mirror; getting fingers caught in mousetrap; and “up the hill to fetch a pail of water.” Color commentary: A woman who thinks she’s John Wayne.
Whew! If that doesn’t glue you to your TV, nothing will!
Listening to a Really Fast Lecture!
Byron the Quokka, signing off
Erlene says your work is appreciated, ol top. good ta see ya, as always.
SUPER-FAST LECTURES–Educational TV – this reminds me of answering machine messages I get where they talk so fast that I have to have my wife listen to figure out what the heck they are talking about. Then, there is also Ben Shapiro who talks so fast it is a challenge to keep up. IF A STUNT MAN CAN DO IT…–DIY, as it were – stunt men and women have always intrigued me; the star gets all the credit, and the stunt people get less pay and more fractured bones. TARZAN THE CARDBOARD CUT-OUT–Adventure – I don’t think even PBS would air such a dog as this one; definitely a one season show, if that. WACKY WORLD OF SPORTS–(What do you expect?) – This one should give a real boost toward acceptance of the trans-gender world.
*Sigh* Facebook is making us all anonymous.
If this is… Well, this comment got through. But I have no way of knowing whether they all came through.
WordPress has jerked us around a lot, lately.
Super fast lectures is too close to reality.