G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, thanks to a mixed-up schedule. Violet Crepuscular has already sworn to get me with her pea-shooter. But like the feller said, “What, me worry?” and “Better late than never.”
Here are a few selections from this weekend’s potpourri of nooze (are you amazed that I could spell that? I am!).
Sunday (too late for Saturday)
11:22 a.m. Ch. 64 MR. ICONIC–Pure culture rot, if you ask me
Follow Mr. Iconic down the road of Pure Cliche, just off the Meaningless Drivel Highway! This week: Learn how to say “they” and “them” when you’re talking about just one person. It drives people who care about English crazy!
3 p.m. Ch. 06 BAG THE SCORPION!–Sports
It’s the national sport of Kaboodlestan, now being played all across Europe. Today: Spatrazzini Primos vs. Yorkshire Spads, winner take the whole bag of angry scorpions! Announcer: Yi Fang Chao. Ceremonial Chant: Charlie “Mulekicker” McCroy.
6:06 p.m. Ch. 71 SELASSIE–Unnaturally smart dog (yawn!)
Selassie, great-great-grandpup of the original Lassie, has taught herself to be Lord High Mountebank of Ethiopia–and the Big Bopper (Jock Mahoney) doesn’t like it! All of these episodes were discovered in an old strongbox tucked away in a spooky corner of an old barn where the mountebanks used to play I Doubt It. This week: Selassie finds a caterpillar in her dog chow.
Well, folks, that’s a little taste of what’s in store for you today! I hope I can get home in time not to watch Mr. Iconic!
Maybe I can borrow that bike over yonder.
Byron the Quokka, signing off.