From August 16, 2025
G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of enlightenment brought to you by Quokka University… the college too obscure to die.
Here are three samples for you.
Saturday
11:18 a.m. Ch. 06 TV for simpletons–GRADY PISHPOCK–(“Talk the hind leg off a donkey”)
Join host GradyPishpock in conversations guaranteed to embarrass! This week: Grady takes on Congresswoman Jan Jiffy in a debate about what’s that on the floor of the studio, just by the door. Watch Grady tie her into knots!
Sunday
9:54 a.m. Ch. 71 Drama (sort of)–When is a swarm of insect pests not a swarm of insect pests? When it’s PEST PEEVES WITH LYDDIE COCANOWER. This week: Lyddie “fixes those pesky caterpillars” by feeding them to grouchy neighbors. Special guest: Sgt. Bud Perkins, local police (“Actually, Ms. Coconut, these aren’t half-bad! I believe I’ll have another handful.”
7:14 p.m. Ch. 22 Stark melodrama–LAPSY, THE BAD-TEMPERED MONITOR LIZARD
This show gives Lassie a run for the money. He is fully capable of swallowing a collie dog. This week: Tommy (Nicky Hsiang) and Dippy (Debi Moostoosian) think they’ve lost Lapsy–until the whole staff at Boro Hall runs out in a panic onto the street, screaming maniacally. And they can’t wake Officer Plugg (a department store dummy).
Say hey, can you go for these? I’m a Grady Pishpock fan, myself; but I’m undergoing treatment for it.
Byron the Quokka, signing off.
(Me and my agent, Olaf Spiggit)
I couldn’t help but notice in the TV Guide listings that channel five had a show called Atomic Age Physics, and that day’s episode was about capacitance. I kinda wish I had seen that.
But, nothing says “entertainment” quite as well as watching people run away from a Monitor Lizard, in terror. The classics never go out of style. 🙂
Oooh, I’m all in suspense about what’s on Grady Pishpock’s studio floor! And is Officer Plugg a sometime stand-in for Constable Chumley? Great work, Byron!
No one would ever mistake Chumley for a dummy. Or would they?
GRADY PISHPOCK – I may check Grady out to pick up a few points about debating (Dbate is my name on Twitter/X). PEST PEEVES WITH LYDDIE COCANOWER – I will pass on this one although I do pay a company, Mosquito Joe, to spray my yard every three weeks (I live in the sub-tropics). THE BAD-TEMPERED MONITOR LIZARD – this sounds like a knockoff from the Jurassic World movies, but I will check it out. Over and out, Byron.