From August 9, 2025
G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, filling in for the big guy, who is still hors de combat. (Who says Australian marsupials can’t speak French? Hah!) Anyway, here are three shows I scraped up from the pavement for you. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Saturday
7:07 p.m. Ch. 57 CHAINSAW CHARLIE–Do It Yourself
Lonesome Charlie Gromm comes to you live from the woodworking shop at Clydesdale Prison, where he’s serving a 75-year-sentence for Not Being a Liberal–but the show must go on! This week: Charlie turns his chainsaw skills to soap carving. Really, it’s amazing, what Warden Pong lets him get up to!
8:16 p.m. Ch. 14 THE SCHMENDRICKS–Award-winning sitcom
Dennis and his family like to live dangerously! This week: Mrs. S (some idiot who has blackmailed the producer) takes up breaking and entering as a pastime. Can hubby Carlo make her stop before she lands the whole family in the hoosegow? Allie Schmendrick: Ellen Mellon.
Sunday
12:45 p.m. Ch. 26 MAJOR LEAGUE SCRUNCHING–Extreme low-brow sports
The Hackensack Pinch-Bug Larvae take on the Enraged Feminists, live from the Paramus Landfill in New Jersey. (Rosters unavailable at this time.) Hackensack left cobbler Perry Mingler last week set a new world’s record for ogling. EF star Punchy Gross has vowed to “take it out of his male chauvinist hide.”
All right, that’s that, I’m out of steam.
Byron the Quokka, signing off.
I can hardly wait to watch all of these! (Too bad I don’t have a television.) 😄😄😄
You can probably watch them through a periscope. Worth a try, at least.
CHAINSAW CHARLIE–Do It Yourself – I usually do not like prison movies, but this one has my interest. Maybe Charlie could use the chainsaw on the warden and escape. THE SCHMENDRICKS–Award-winning sitcom – I usually do not watch sitcoms because of the fake audience laugher tracks that are used, but I will give this one a try. Maybe I can learn some tricks about vandalizing houses. MAJOR LEAGUE SCRUNCHING–Extreme low-brow sports – I don’t believe I have ever seen a sports event set in a landfill. My images of it have to be tested so I am definitely in for this show. Thanks, Byron, from the whiterabbit.
Good to see you–we were a little worried.
That’s the new prison standard; give everyone a chainsaw.