It would be hard to imagine an animal more benign, more unthreatening, than a sloth. And even if they wanted to do you harm, they’d never be able to catch you.
If you aren’t able to count the claws, it’s still easy to tell the difference between the three-toed sloth and the two-toed sloth. The three-toed has a white mask around its eyes, and the two-toed doesn’t. Much easier to remember than “The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle.”
If you’re one of many people thinking of opening a sloth grooming parlor, pay especially close attention to this video. Note that the little guy’s patience wears rather thin if he’s not allowed to cling to his stuffed toy. This can be avoided by getting the stuffed toy soaking wet and not washing or drying those parts of the sloth that were pressed tightly to the toy. Be sure to invent some convincing lies to tell dissatisfied customers.
This is a sneak preview of When Sloths Attack. See the ferocious creatures descend from the trees to chase hapless college students who picked entirely the wrong place to camp for the weekend! And the sloths’ll catch ’em, too, because they’re like totally stoned and also out of shape. After that… Well, you’ll find out why the one sloth is smiling.
All you people out there who want to hug baby sloths… I guess you’ll have to become zoologists and get a grant to study in Costa Rica. But here at least you can see the babies are small enough to let chairs and rocking chairs serve them as trees. “Hey, wait a minute! We have chairs! If we can only get a baby sloth or two…”
This is Edward, a baby two-toed sloth, and it’s feeding time.
There was a great 19th-century chess master, Elijah Williams, who was nicknamed “the Bristol Sloth,” but probably not because he was such a cute baby. Someone calculated that Williams, on the average, took two-and-a-half hours to make a single move.
Even Edward can probably beat that.
My wife thinks baby sloths are just about the sweetest critters on earth, and has always wanted to have one for a pet. I think New Jersey might be a bit too chilly for them, but we can dream, can’t we? So video is maybe the next best thing.
Sorry, but I’m partial to baby sloths and my wife’s crazy about them, so here they are–a couple of them learning how to climb, honing their skills at the sloth sanctuary.
Listen to the vocalizations made by these little guys. They sound almost human. They don’t wind up going off to collidge, either.
My wife has always been head over heels in love with baby sloths. What I want to know is, how do you wind up getting a job cuddling baby sloths and watching them learn how to climb? That’s gotta be a real stress-buster.
Go ahead–tell me you don’t think these babies are big-time huggable.