Sloth Gets a Bath–Beware!

(OK, I jazzed up the headline a little bit. Couldn’t help it!)

I wonder how many of us will be called upon, any time in life, to give a sloth a bath. I’m trying to gauge the sloth’s opinion of the bath. Is she going to bite the nice lady, or is she just expressing a general sense of freaking out?

I’m guessing she enjoys the ointment and the combing, though.

P.S.–My sister had to give my iguana a bath once. She never forgot how well-behaved he was.

Sloths Up

Ignore the twaddle that they give us for a text and just enjoy the sloths. (Oops, forgot to post the video. Mistake corrected.)

Silly question of the year: How do you tell a three-toed sloth from a two-toed sloth? (You’re kidding–right?)

Baby Sloth: The Climb

How would you like this job–teaching a baby sloth how to climb? Mama Sloth needed some help in that department, and the sloth sanctuary was there to provide it.

You’d think climbing would come naturally to sloths; but then seals need to be taught how to swim, and a dog will never figure out by himself how to play poker.

Cute Baby Sloths

It’s been a while since I posted any baby sloth videos. Cute, aren’t they? My wife is crazy about them.

Some of you are wondering why there is a kangaroo in this video which is supposed to be about baby sloths. I am sorry to say the film-maker cannot tell the difference. I wonder if he’s the only one who mistakes sloths for kangaroos.

Baby Sloths Galore

Everyone loves baby sloths, right? But what about those great hooked claws? Aren’t they dangerous?

Well, we don’t have any figures for humans attacked by sloths, so it’s best to see the claws as natural coat hangers, with the sloth itself as the coat.

False Fact: Perry Mason had a pet sloth named Buddy.

Danger! Sloths Ahead

The sloths in this video are nice and tame. But–! Fun False Fact: Last year in the region of Rio Pupitre in the Yucatan, at least 3,600 people were chased down and eaten by sloths. Authorities said they did not run fast enough.

Ah, well–my wife is crazy about baby sloths. Always has been. They are more than just a little bit appealing, don’t you think?

How to Rear a Baby Sloth

I know you’re out there–people who fall in love with baby sloths every time they see one in a video.

Well, the only thing for it is to get a job as a sloth keeper. For that you generally need a zoo: can’t walk into just any kind of place and ask ’em if they need a sloth keeper. Try that at Wal-Mart and see where it gets you.

It’d be nice to snuggle one of these little fellows, though…

Charming Sloths

It would be hard to imagine an animal more benign, more unthreatening, than a sloth. And even if they wanted to do you harm, they’d never be able to catch you.

If you aren’t able to count the claws, it’s still easy to tell the difference between the three-toed sloth and the two-toed sloth. The three-toed has a white mask around its eyes, and the two-toed doesn’t. Much easier to remember than “The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle.”

Endearing Young Sloths

My wife has a fondness for baby sloths. A lot of people do. They make cute baby sounds. There’s also a kangaroo in this video. Don’t ask me how that happened.

Back in the day, giant ground sloths got as big as elephants. I wonder what their babies were like.

When Sloths Attack

This is a sneak preview of When Sloths Attack. See the ferocious creatures descend from the trees to chase hapless college students who picked entirely the wrong place to camp for the weekend! And the sloths’ll catch ’em, too, because they’re like totally stoned and also out of shape. After that… Well, you’ll find out why the one sloth is smiling.