Memory Lane: An Unsettling Assignment

This is Amos, my curious 10 week English lop! : r/Rabbits

At the old Bayshore Independent, we were always on the lookout for human-interest feature stories to mix in with the news. So when we heard that a woman in Matawan or someplace had just won a blue ribbon with her pedigreed rabbit, hers was a story that we wanted, and it was assigned to me.

Winston, the English lop-eared rabbit, had learned a few simple tricks, was very friendly, and had fur you’d want to snuggle up to. It was easy to see how he might win first prize in a show.

“And what’s next for Winston?” I asked.

“Oh, we’re probably going to have him for Sunday dinner next week.” For a moment, a vision of Winston at the table, in a high chair. But that was clearly not what they meant. Having won the prize, they were going to eat him.

I was only in my twenties then and didn’t fully appreciate how horrible this was, although I was appalled enough. Looking back on it now, it seems to border on cannibalism. Y’know, they kept this bunny in their house and hand-raised him, and he came through with the prize they’d hoped to win–a little gratitude, please! I’m no vegetarian, but I draw the line at eating animals who have sat in my lap.

(Yeah, well, that attitude wouldn’t’ve gotten you very far in the 19th century, would it? Maybe not–but I’m not in the 19th century.)

What Do I Write on Election Day?

Hard, tiresome work,” says 1940s film on journalism | Allie's Re "Allie" ty  // Allie Hulcher

When I was a weekly newspaper editor and reporter, back when we still used manual typewriters, I worked hard, trying to scoop the dailies. It was very hard to do! Because if I had a story on Thursday or Friday, it couldn’t be published until the following Wednesday, when our paper (The Bayshore Independent: R.I.P.) came out. So the dailies had several days to catch up, and they almost always did.

I’m still writing weekly for Newswithviews, which comes out on a Thursday, So if I write something today, Tuesday, Election Day, it’ll be stale potatoes by Thursday. And with the election uppermost in everybody’s minds, including mine, why bother? I’ll just have to wait till tomorrow and try to hustle up a column in time for the next day. And by then a lot of the readers will have election fatigue.

So I wrote a nice chunk of Behold! this morning, now that I know where I have to be to stage the climax, half a dozen blog posts, and I’ll spend the rest of my workday typing up my manuscript for Chapter Set 5 (Set No. 6 ought to do it). And I’ll have to try real hard not to get overwhelmed by the news of the election.

I’m almost tempted not to follow the results tonight, because if we lose this one and the Evil Democrat Party wins, it’s adios to America. I’ve pretty much emptied my quiver, and there’s nothing left to do but pray.

Pray hard.