Bono – Lee Duigon

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A grown man with earrings in both ears just has to be the smartest guy in the room…

Back when rock star Bono proposed this incredibly clever way of dealing with ISIS, the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria was tearing up the Middle East while President *Batteries Not Included whistled a happy tune. But how wrong can it be, to be guided in policy by a celebrity?

Bono: Give ISIS Comedy

Burning people alive, beheading them, tossing them off buildings–these were ISIS’ pastimes. But according to Bono, some good ol’ rib-tickling comedy would’ve set them straight. Eventually a diet of high exposives administered by the U.S. Air Force and allies reduced ISIS to a shadow of its former self. But surely Henny Youngman or Laurel and Hardy could’ve done it faster!

The thing about celebrities, see, is that they know everything and can just about always be talked into telling you what you should do.

Bozo the Clown–a secret weapon?

Someday archaeologists are going to wonder just what we thought we were doing, as our civilization fell to pieces all around us.

Bono–I don’t know his real name; is it Wilfred Schmendrick?–a grown man with earrings in both his ears, world-famous as a humanitarian, for collecting oodles and oodles of money for charity and spending almost all of it on administration and salaries ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1314543/Bonos-ONE-foundation-giving-tiny-percentage-funds-charity.html#ixzz10TNqfRuo )–this Bono, I say, best known for being a rock star, recently posed as a sage and oracle, coming up with an unexpected antidote to violent Islamic extremism. ( http://on.aol.com/video/bono-says-we-can-defeat-isis-with-comedy-570e41f0e4b0448640a4c2c3?context=PC:homepage:PL7119:1454666678818 )

Comedy, he says: that’s what’ll defeat ISIS. Just yuk it up, and they’re history. If we “laugh at them… it takes away their power.”

True, it’s a little hard to see the humor in a situation when they’re blowing up a building while you’re in it, or marching you out to be beheaded. Bono suggests we send some of our more famous comedians to the more troubled regions of the Middle East, always presuming we can find any who are crazy enough to go.

And what ought they to bring with them, to tickle ISIS’ funny-bone? Jokes for the John? Old Green Acres episodes? Maybe a season or two of Seinfeld? Remember, we’re talking about folks who wiped out the editorial staff of a French magazine because they didn’t like its Mohammed cartoons. These are not persons who are famous for laughing at themselves. What they usually laugh at is other people being killed in nasty ways.

It’s hard to resist the conclusion that Bono is a chowderhead. Does he know what he’s saying? Does he really, truly think he’s that intelligent? Or is it all because, for years now, he’s surrounded himself with an entourage of yes-men who lap up every honeyed word that dribbles from his lips and praise it to the skies?

Something tells me we’re in trouble.