Calloo, callay, O frabjous day! Byron the Quokka here–and we’ve got a new show, brand-new: the U.N. is lending it to us, for free! Get a load of this:
8 P.M. Ch. 08 SMARTY McSMART–News & sitcom
This is the show that has it all! Smart phones, smart refrigerators, smart cars, every smart thing you’ve heard of–Smarty McSmart has it in his smart house. And best of all, each and every one of these devices is designed and programmed to watch you and your family very closely! Just in case you make a little slip, heh-heh. This week: Smarty’s teenage daughter Smarteena (Maggie Oog) gets caught saying a Bad Thing about The Party–so it’s off to Camp Smart-O-Rama to get her mind made right. Mom McSmarty: Tim Conway.
Sounds irresistible! And here are some more selections from the menu.
7:48 P.M. Ch. 11 FAMOUS CELEBRITIES–Game show
The show that has no interest at all in celebrities who aren’t famous and heck, you never heard of ’em–We love you, celebrities! We worship you! Host: Yersinia Pestis. Tonight’s star-studded lineup includes Gary LaFong, Magenta Smidgin, Dorothy Opplethwaite, and (of course!) Mitch Krnsich!
8 P.M. Ch. 03 INDICT ‘EM ALL–News & pubic affairs
Public figures will think twice about running for office, if they wind up on trial if they lose! Originally a hit Public TV show in Idi Amin’s Uganda, Indict ‘Em All has also been popular in China, Cuba, North Korea, and the UK. Host: No one knows, there’s a mask and a voice distorter in play.
Ch. 14 MOVIE–Incredibly terrifying drama
In “Who’s Killing Off the June Taylor Dancers” (Canadian-Egyptian, 2008: 746 minutes), an unknown killer is picking off the June Taylor Dancers (played by themselves, some of them with walkers) one by one… even as a hypertrophied coccyx pandemic sweeps across Iceland. Can a known killer (Arnold Stang) solve the case where the incompetent police have failed? Queen Maud: Cyndy Lauper.
Whew! Almost too much to take in! I’d better go line up my snacks.
Byron the Quokka, signing off! Enjoy your TV shows with tasty leaves!
