If only the cacti could vote!
“I’ve learned my lesson!” says former Squeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “We lost that bill to lower the voting age to 16 simply because it didn’t go far enough. I see that now! So we’re coming back with a new bill to lower the voting age to four.”
Pelosi chose not to comment on rumors that party leaders had to quash a movement to expand the voting franchises to include plants and animals. “Of course we would have liked to see cacti voting Democrat in Arizona,” she said. “But before we can do that, we really must see about granting voting rights to citizens of other countries than ours. After all, we’re all on the same planet!”
Special poll watchers will help the 4-year-olds vote, leading them by the hand to the voting machines and showing them which buttons to press. A successful vote will earn the gift of a lollipop.
To make it easier for very young children, the new voting machines will have only Democrat buttons.
“This is the kind of thing that makes America unique!” Pelosi said.