A Totally Frivolous Lawsuit

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Some years ago, screenwriter Anthony Horowitz complained that he couldn’t write thrillers anymore because no matter what kind of villain he put in the script, some pressure group was bound to complain. Like, very loudly.

And here’s an example that proves his point. Big-time.

In 2013–I missed it at the time–a “hyena biologist” sued Disney Corp for “defaming” hyenas by making them villains in its 1994 cartoon movie, The Lion King. Also the film’s depiction of hyenas revealed an “anti-immigrant” agenda and everybody at Disney’s a fascist and they hate Minorities…

Did the judge jail this idiot’s lawyer for contempt of court, for wasting the court’s time with such a load of twaddle? I haven’t been able to find a follow-up story. I think the judge would have been justified in pulling out a gun and shooting him.

Crikey, I didn’t know hyenas even had a pressure group.

Lawsuit: ‘I am not Mr. Bean!’

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A Social Justice Studies professor at Mordor State University has sued a fictional character for “making people think I’m him.”

Dr. Che Lastima says the well-known comic character, Mr. Bean, was purposely created by racists to be an identical duplicate of him, “so as to make my students laugh at me,” he told several random passers-by. “They even got him sitting on a chair on top of a car, because I do that.”

The lawsuit, filed at Porky’s Mini-Golf Park across the street from the campus, demands that Mr. Bean’s creators, if they can be found, pay the professor $895 million in damages. No one at Porky’s, which is closed until Memorial Day, was available for comment.

“I’ll show them they can’t do this to an intellectual!” said the professor.