Tag Archives: Paleoloxodon

Revisionists Go Home!

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All my life, the Baluchitherium has been the largest land mammal ever. (Don’t let that “Paraceratherium” business throw you: they’re always changing the name.) And then they bring up this… this Paleoloxodon thing, this mere elephant–and say, “No, it wasn’t Baluchi-something. It was this new discovery! Hail, Paleoloxodon! Greatest land mammal ever!”

Pshaw. That Baluchitherium in the picture is hardly half the size of the one that carried King Ryons to the rescue of Obann. And the elephant is just plain overgrown. So it had longer and straighter tusks than any modern elephant–go on, ask me if I care! Whereas Baluchitherium was a rhinoceros so freakin’ big, it didn’t need a horn. Didn’t it scatter an entire Heathen army? I’d like to see anyone even try to do that with a Loxobagel. Like anything that’s new is automatically the best. Like naming baseball stadiums after some grubby little sponsor. Once upon a time the Edsel was new! And look how that wound up.

I am not going to rewrite The Thunder King just so I can bring in some boring elephant. And as for paleontological revisionism–boo, yabumya!

We’ve Broken the Record!

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Today we’ve set a new record for this blog–732 views, with most of the night still to go.

It’s as good an excuse as any for posting another picture of a Baluchitherium. And I don’t want to hear any of this “Paleoloxodon” stuff! The biggest-ever land mammal is Baluchitherium. Ask King Ryons!

Anyway, the old record was 644, Nov. 7, 2016–and I wish I knew how blogs get hot like that, so I could do it on purpose. I might even be able to sell some books.

Thank you, thank you, everybody who stopped in today. And I hope I see you again tomorrow.

And now, on to cat video…

P.S.–The new record now stands at 849 views, Feb. 26, 2019. I wonder if we’ll ever break it.

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