Simple But Brilliant!

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We used to watch a British comedy, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, about a French family, owners of a village tavern, trying to cope with the Germans’ occupation of their country during World War II. They helped the French Resistance as best they could, but had to be careful because there were always German officers dropping in for food and drink.

Because it was an English show pitched to an English-speaking audience, all the dialogue was in English. It was understood, though, that these were French characters speaking only French. But then they added a new character, posing new problems for the writers: a British secret agent disguised as a French policeman. Of course he had to speak French–but he wasn’t very good at it. Only good enough to fool the silly Germans.

So how do you write his dialogue? You’d think, maybe, subtitles. But the solution they came up with was amazingly simple and effective, and very, very funny!

This character spoke fractured English, which we were to take for fractured French: for instance, saying “Good moaning” for “Good morning.” He was a scream. You never knew what he was going to say next: it was always a surprise.

If you want someday to try your hand at writing fiction, here’s the lesson: always leave the door open for sheer creativity. Crazy ideas sometimes work!

There’s still a pretty fair amount of ‘Allo, ‘Allo available on YouTube. If you like wacky comedy as an escape from the nooze, you won’t do better than this.

Memory Lane: ‘In Search Of’

I had a bad night with my allergies; but it would have to be a very bad night indeed, if this hokey old TV series couldn’t lift my spirits.

In Search Of ran from 1977 to 1982 with Leonard Nimoy as the host. Because he became a major star by playing Mr. Spock on Star Trek, we tend to overlook the rest of his long TV career. This included his stint on In Search Of.

This show had everything! As World War II paratroopers used to say, “It’s foolish but it’s fun.” Missing persons, lost cities, UFOs, cryptozoology… and a neat disclaimer reminding viewers that “this series is based in part on theory and conjecture.” Lots and lots of conjecture! And by no means was it nothing but hooey. After all, for example, Amelia Earhart really did disappear on an attempted flight across the Pacific.

But the thing that really made it go was Nimoy. He had just the right amount of gravitas–no mean feat for an actor best known for pointy ears and the Vulcan nerve pinch. They came out with a remake in 2018, but without Leonard Nimoy it just didn’t work.

And you can watch all the episodes on YouTube! Next time you’ve got insomnia, have a little fun with In Search Of.

Memory Lane: Chia Pets

Chia Bull | Chia pet, Garden gifts, Pets

Back in the 1970s, when cable TV was in its infancy, regular broadcast TV was chock-full of commercials for these–Chia Pets. You had these clay figurines and you coated them with Chia seeds, and voila–you had a lamb with a woolly green coat, or some guy with a big green afro.

At least that was what was supposed to happen. We gave one to Grammy and Uncle Bernie for Christmas, but try as they might, they couldn’t get the Chia seeds to sprout. And my mother said, “Oh, well! Nothing ever works for them.” Not entirely fair, I thought: but all they ever got out of it was a bare clay sheep.

I don’t know how many of these were sold, but given the sheer number of commercials, they must have been successful somewhere. Did any of you have Chia Pets that sprouted?

And then the commercials stopped and that was that. Chia Pets are still available online, but it’s hardly the fad it once was.

Imagine if you could accurately predict what was going to become a fad. But who saw the hula hoop coming? Or pet rocks? Or those shoes with springs on them so you could boing-boing down the sidewalk like a kangaroo? Some of my friends had those, but all they got out of them was a series of prat falls.

Pop culture: go figure!

A Relic of Awfulness

I feel whimsical this morning. I’m convinced God gives us that so that we don’t burn out. A good laugh is part of God’s stuff, too.

I don’t know why this antique ridiculous commercial popped into my head today. Vintage 1979, it was for Revlon’s “Charlie” fragrance–I have no idea who gets to name perfumes, or how they go about it–complete with supermodel Shelly Hack and her 64 teeth and Mel Torme roped into singing the jingle.

Lyrics of enduring, persevering brainlessness: “Kinda young, kinda now… Kinda free, kinda wow…” It takes a special talent to write such drivel.

Mel Torme was one of the leading singers of his era and also a championship-caliber quick-draw expert. Interesting man! Great raconteur, too. They were going to do a feature on him for Sixty Minutes once, he says, but dropped it once they’d found out he had no history of scandal, adultery, alcoholism, or drug addiction. “I was too dull,” he admits.