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Jubilo Tosspot: “Save a seat for me!”

First it was John Legend, whoever the dickens he is. Then Cher. Both have threatened to flee the country, to deprive us of their illuminating presence, if President Donald Trump wins next year’s election.

Their remarks have inspired what could be a virtual celebrity exodus from America, if the Democrats don’t win. Look who’s already on board!

Betty Botta, star of Better Butter ads on cable TV

Slim Pankovitz, who is actually very fat.

Sargon O’Reilly, YouTube star of The Other O’Reilly Factor

Vishtimasdas Aikiyawwa–no one’s quite sure why she’s famous

The entire cast and crew of My Life In a Missouri Coal Bin, now playing in Fowlerville, Michigan

Joe Gustavus Crippen, the guy who gargles offstage in the Mutiny Mouthwash radio ad.

Jubilo Tosspot. He’s in a picture somewhere.

And that, of course, is just a few of them. There are a lot more who are not as famous as these.

Someone needs to set up a way for us all to contribute to one-way tickets out of here.

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A real charmer, eh?

Remember this? Former famous person Rosie O’Donnell publicly offered two senators rather handsome bribes to vote against a tax cut.

Ex-Celebrity Tries to Buy 2 Senate Votes

In fact, it’s a crime to buy the votes of members of Congress. True, it’s done ALL the time–but at least the other crooks have the good taste to launder the money first. They don’t treat it like it’s going to Walmart for potato chips.

So this, er, person, had $2 million each to give two GOP senators if they’d vote against the tax cut. She must’ve really wanted you to pay taxes.

It is too bad left-wing celebrities don’t have any natural enemies. Where are the cane toads when you really need them?