Celebrity Exodus

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Jubilo Tosspot: “Save a seat for me!”

First it was John Legend, whoever the dickens he is. Then Cher. Both have threatened to flee the country, to deprive us of their illuminating presence, if President Donald Trump wins next year’s election.

Their remarks have inspired what could be a virtual celebrity exodus from America, if the Democrats don’t win. Look who’s already on board!

Betty Botta, star of Better Butter ads on cable TV

Slim Pankovitz, who is actually very fat.

Sargon O’Reilly, YouTube star of The Other O’Reilly Factor

Vishtimasdas Aikiyawwa–no one’s quite sure why she’s famous

The entire cast and crew of My Life In a Missouri Coal Bin, now playing in Fowlerville, Michigan

Joe Gustavus Crippen, the guy who gargles offstage in the Mutiny Mouthwash radio ad.

Jubilo Tosspot. He’s in a picture somewhere.

And that, of course, is just a few of them. There are a lot more who are not as famous as these.

Someone needs to set up a way for us all to contribute to one-way tickets out of here.

3 comments on “Celebrity Exodus

  1. Didn’t some celebrities — well, celebrities in their own eyes — who’ve been around for a while also promise in 2016 to leave the country if Trump was elected? Ho hum, promises, promises.

    Funny, though, that reporters never seem to ask them where they propose to settle instead, and how they propose to continue starring in American film, TV, music, or whatever they’ve become “celebrated” for if they’re living elsewhere.

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