Month: June 2013

I had a dream the other night, when everything was still–and it wasn’t of Susannah a-comin’ down the hill.

I dreamed I was standing on the beach, nobody else around, just watching the surf. And then up from the waters rose… Bill Clinton. Larger than life. He wore a wet tuxedo and looked kind of bloated, so I couldn’t be sure if he was dead or alive. And then he advanced toward me…

Of course I woke up.

By and by it occurred to me that this was not as original as it seemed at first. And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. (Revelation 13:1)

No, I’m not making up a wise-guy story to make a political point and abuse Scripture. I really had the dream, just as I’ve told it to you. And I don’t think I need a crystal ball to understand it, either. Neither do you. We need hardly discuss anything so obvious.

Does the current state of our country give you bad dreams?

It should.

America took another giant step into the abyss yesterday, thanks to the Supreme Court taking upon itself the authority to nullify the word of God. I’ll have a lot more to say about that in my News With Views column next week, but for the time being, there’s one facet of it that deserves immediate comment.

No sooner had the black-robed maniacs ruled against traditional marriage, than our First Voter Fraud President came out with a pledge.

He promises that he won’t force churches to perform homosexual “marriages”.

Now, he wouldn’t say that unless he thought he could force churches to do it, if he wanted to. After all, his administration is already forcing Christians to pay for other people’s abortions and contraceptives.  So maybe in a month or two, this antichrist will change his mind, and he will force churches to defile themselves with same-sex parodies of marriage.

“But that’s okay,” he will hasten to reassure us. “I sure won’t force anybody to be in a gay marriage. I definitely won’t make gay unions compulsory.”

And then he’ll break that promise, too, because that’s what an antichrist does.

Meanwhile, I have only this to ask.

How far down are you going to sink, America, before you start to come up again–if ever you come up again?

And how much abuse will you take before you won’t take any more?

After 30 years of fruitlessly campaigning to have hop-scotch made an Olympic sport, Dr. Earwig Nitwit has found another great cause to which to dedicate himself.

We caught up to the unemployed professor of Gender Studies in front of a home in his neighborhood, where he has been protesting all day long.

“These people, they leave the light on till late at night, and they have three kids!” Nitwit said. “They eat meat, and the male adult smokes. They are guilty of Crimes Against the Planet! They are fomenting Climate Change! Wahhaaagh!” At this point we had to terminate the interview because Dr. Nitwit fell down and pink foam boiled out his mouth and ears.

“The president’s speech yesterday really inspired him,” said a neighbor. “Listen, I don’t suppose you could, well, sort of take him away from here? And leave him somewhere…”

Just then the guy from the U.N. Climate Change Panel came along with a stretcher crew, and they packed Nitwit off to his new post as Gender Specialist for Climate Change. His salary will be $666,000 a year.

“What we want,” said the U.N. guy, “is a climate that never, never, never changes! That’s what we’re shooting for.”

God help us.

I can’t decide whether the actions of our government point to an incredibly clever scheme to turn America into a Third World basket-case, or whether it’s just a spasm of political vandalism by people who are simply not all there.

For instance: as  Congress prepares to subject the American people to a suicidal “immigration reform” that will flood the country with welfare cases and shatter her finances, suddenly our First Voter Fraud President, our scarcely human Secretary of State, and the rest of the zombies are all yapping about Climate Change again. You remember Climate Change used to be Global Warming until that was exposed as a fraud. Anyhow, the Robot-in-Chief and his creatures are saying the fantastic threat of Climate Change forces them to declare “a war on coal.”

It’s like these people run all around inside a great mansion, setting fires everywhere. You try to put out a fire in the living room, and they’ve started another in the lounge. You run over to the lounge, and they’ve set the kitchen on fire. And so on.

I have come to believe that our country’s leaders are actively servants of the Devil, for whom evil is good and good is evil. I don’t know how else to explain what they do.

Where can we find someone who can exorcise a whole country?

As reported by the UK Daily Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ ), June 16, a couple living in the town of Sarnia, Ontario, while digging post-holes in their back yard, dug up a human skeleton.

Naturally, they called the police. The police had a look-see and decided the skeleton was that of an aboriginal woman who died some 400 years ago.

Imagine the homeowners’ horrified surprise when they were informed that they would now have to pay $5,000 to hire an archeologist to study the site. Wham! Five thousand smackers up the spout–not to mention endless paperwork, and endless wandering inside the bureaucratic labyrinth. They’re probably lucky the skeleton didn’t belong to a more recent murder victim. They will also be deprived of the use of their property until the archeologist is satisfied he’s learned everything he possibly can from the site, which could take years.

And what do we learn from this cautionary tale?

Simply that, these days, the government is your enemy, and will twist and turn any event imaginable into an excuse to take your money. They will never pass up an opportunity to harass and torment you.

So, if you’re digging your garden or putting in a swimming pool, and you should be unlucky enough to unearth a human skeleton–well, now you know what not to do.

I noticed a headline last night on the Drudge Report: Google predicts, in 20 or 30 years, “We can upload your brain!”

Does this mean that, 1,500 years from now, John McCain and Chuck Schumer will still be in the Senate? That no lefty judge will ever again have to retire from the bench? That Mayor Bloomberg will still be banning things when the sun cools and swells into a red giant? [Note to those who take rhetorical flourishes literally: the use of this figure of speech in no way denotes my endorsement of this or any other evolutionary scenario.]

Or is this just another instance of chattering monkeys making grandiose plans for some broken-off tree branch that they found?

Yes–the unbelieving evil humanists are going to give us immortality. “Ye shall not surely die,” the serpent promised Eve (Genesis 3:4). So they ate the forbidden fruit and they died, and the Devil has been conning their descendants with the same false promise ever since.

They’ll upload on to a disc or something everything that’s in your brain, every thought, every memory, everything that makes you you. When the disc gets worn, they’ll just transfer “you” to another. And nothing will ever go wrong with the disc or the computer! And they will never get careless and mix “you” with a commercial for cornflakes  or an old episode of “Let’s Make a Deal.” And it will all go on forever.

You have the Serpent’s word on it.