Scientists at the University of Exeter have figured out something no one ever thought of before: female animals are relatively dull and drab, compared to males, because that’s how they avoid sexual harassment ( http://www.drudge.com/news/196839/female-animals-look-drab-avoid-sexual ).
Otherwise nesting birds would be decorated with flashing neon lights. And soon go extinct, but never mind. It’s fear of sexual harassment that keeps female birds from resembling a Las Vegas casino.
But now scientists at Excedrin University are jealous of all the attention that their colleagues at Exeter are getting.
“Sexual harassment? Don’t make me laugh!” said Dr. Francis Dustmop, Professor of Scientific Stuff at Excedrin U. “Like, that is so nothing!
“Whereas we, here at Excedrin, have made a really important discovery!
“Ever notice that some birds got really bright colors, and other kinds of birds are just dull and boring? Betcha didn’t know that’s caused by… Income Inequality!” (Pauses to perform a cartwheel. Splits pants.) “Yessirreebob, the injustice of capitalism spills over into the natural world!
“Now that, my friend, is science! Those mental midgets at Exeter can take their sexual harassment and stick it in their ears!”
Meanwhile, scientists at Exorbitant University have discovered that some animals are larger than others because of White Privilege…