Hillary’s Concession Speech

It has been widely reported that Hillary Clinton has not made a concession speech after losing the election yesterday: that she didn’t even come out, from wherever she was hiding, to thank her staff.

But according to a not terribly reliable but really cool source, she did come out to speak to her staff after all cameras and microphones were banned from the room. And this is what she said:

“Thanks for nothin’, you miserable bunch of ____ing losers! You lazy ____ing cretins! You let me down, you ____ed me over, I shoulda been 50 points ahead and I woulda won if you hadn’t ____ing blown it for me, you [heavily censored], you traitors, you incompetent ____s! Well, don’t think the vast right-wing conspiracy can help you now! Wait’ll you see what ____ing happens to you!”

At this point, says our source, the candidate lapsed into incoherent gibberish and had to be removed to an undisclosed location.

3 comments on “Hillary’s Concession Speech

  1. LOL. “This time I will kill you myself with my bear hands” said The Rumplestiltskin Foundation.

    1. Now I hope you realize that was a satire–albeit based on credible reports of many earlier outbursts of this nature.

      Once upon a time in New Jersey, the Democrats ran a homosexual predator for governor. And he won, of course. Thing is, everybody knew about this guy–everybody but the voters. The whole Jersey press corps knew, and never printed a single word about it. Even the Republicans knew, and timorously shied away from even hinting at it. And eventually the governor was forced to resign, because, while he busied himself with private acts of infamy, his political cronies were robbing the state blind. But a lot of them had to go to jail before the buck stopped at his desk.

      Much the same is the case with Careless Clinton. Not a tenth of what is known about her (in all probability) has ever seen the light of day.

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