Hillary: GOP Stole 2024 Election!

Hillary Toilet Paper - Etsy

Smartest woman in the world. Just ask Dracula.

Hillary Clinton has demanded a Congressional investigation of the 2024 presidential election.

“The Republicans have stolen it!” she asserted. “They stole it from me in 2016, when it was My turn! And they stole it again in 2024!

“Well, I’m gonna have my turn! The only remedy is to overturn the 2024 election now, I mean right now, declare this year to be 2024, and install me in the White House as president. Nobody cares what year it really is, anyway! And isn’t there, like, some prophecy of me being declared president because it’s My turn? I’m sure there is!”

(The only one I can think of is This is the POTUS/ who fatally smote us. But I thought that was Biden.)

Asked, “What about the rest of President Biden’s term?”, Mrs. Clinton replied, “He can come back in after I’ve had My turn. We’ll just change the years around some more.”

‘Can You Believe They Said This With a Straight Face?’ (2017)

Image result for images of hillary clinton with michelle obama

Libs are always complaining when the power of speech is exercised by people who aren’t them. That’s when speech becomes “divisive” and a Democrat government has to rein it in! For our own good, of course.

Here are two jidrools practicing lib-speak.

Can You Believe They Said This With a Straight Face?

Did you get that? Hillary Clinton slyly suggests that Donald Trump might be plotting to assassinate “journalists.” Michelle Obama chimes in with the assertion that all women ought to vote for Hillary because she’s a woman. (Gee, Mike, you’d be really mad if someone said all white people ought to vote for Trump because he’s white, too.)

Midterm elections are just around the corner. Have you checked the batteries on your B.S. detector?

‘Pope: “The People Are Sovereign”‘ (2016)

Pope francis hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

This is how Pope Francis weaseled out of saying whom he supported in America’s 2016 presidential election.

Pope: ‘The People Are Sovereign’

He was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he endorsed Hillary Clinton, he was endorsing the Abortion Queen. And he couldn’t back Trump: Pope Francis doesn’t think the USA should have a border.

So he took refuge in “The people are sovereign–”

Not that he believes it for a minute.

New Contest… Maybe?

Hillary Clinton's 'angry' face | Op-eds – Gulf News

Apple TV plans to air a new show starring Hillary and Chelsea Clinton.

What would you do to avoid seeing that show?

I’m toying with that as the idea for another contest. Who can give the most creative answer to that question? Hill and Chel will be interviewing various Far Left wacked-out feminists–I think they’re trying to steal The View‘s audience.

So I’m running this idea up the flagpole to see who salutes it. Waddaya say?

No, Please! Not That! Not That!

Mummy Walking Stock Vector (Royalty Free) 731309824 | Shutterstock

Oh, heaven help us! She comes back more times than the freakin’ Mummy.

I don’t want to believe this, but apparently it’s true: Apple TV is going to air a Hillary Clinton TV series called “Gutsy” (https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/4088203/posts). As an added inducement viewers will get Chelsea, too–the whole Clinton brain trust. Mother and daughter will interview women from the Far Left fringe and try to make them sound sane.

Would you watch this? What if it was the only way to save your life? (“I’m thinking, I’m thinking!” as Jack Benny used to say.) What if you had to watch it or else a swarm of mosquitoes would drink your blood dry? What if the only alternative was to watch that TV movie about Barack and Michelle Obama going on a date? (Really, I had no idea I could be that diabolical.)

Go ahead, Democrats. I dare you to run her for president again. I triple-dog dare you!

Hillary Ops ‘Agitated’ for Raid on Trump

Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee's Russian collusion claims against Donald Trump in the 2016 election helped created a more divided country.

*Sigh* More nooze.

Here’s a new wrinkle in the FBI goon squad’s raid on Donald Trump’s home: “The Clinton machine has been agitating for this since January” (https://citizenfreepress.com/breaking/hillary-clinton-operatives-secretly-worked-with-doj-to-raid-president-trump/).

Why is there still a Clinton machine? What do we have to do to get rid of it?

Breaking News: I made a strong objection to our Dept. of Public Works, my freakin’ garbage can having disappeared overnight, and they gave me a replacement. Calloo, callay…

Supposedly this was all about documents that President Trump wasn’t supposed to have, and the raid was revenge for all that flap over Hillary mishandling thousands of classified documents while she was secretary of state for *Batteries Not Included. Nobody ever raided her pad, though. I don’t like to imagine what might have been found there. Hillary sleeping in a coffin?

Super. So now we take revenge on our political rivals by unleashing our party’s FBI henchmen on homes and families.

Are we free to speculate that “the Clinton machine” wanted those documents grabbed because some of them featured dirt on Hillary? Or were they all just trying to advance the sovietization of America?

Hillary’s Hubris

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(Photoshopped 16 ways from Sunday)

No sooner had the rogue FBI raided President Donald Trump’s home–seeking evidence of “potential (!) mishandling of classified documents”–than Hillary Clinton, two-time loser in the presidential sweepstakes, came out of the woodwork with $32 caps that read “But Her Emails.”

That refers to the thousands of classified documents she mishandled–and later destroyed–while she was secretary of state for *Batteries Not Included. She had confidential, classified emails stacked up on a private server–a lapse for which a low-level State employee would have been imprisoned.

Speaking of lapses, here’s what she really looks like.

1.1901883-289460966

So, yeah, she’s out there rubbing it in our faces, reminding us that she totally got away with trashing thousands of special government papers. She sez her little hats are sold out, but they can print up more. The money will go to her “Onward Together”–“onward” to what? (don’t ask!)–Political Action Committee.

Go ahead, Hillary–run for president in 2024. I double-dog dare you.

Run as many times as it takes to destroy the Democrat Party.

They raised the stakes this week, raiding President Trump’s home.

They deserve to go down the tubes with Hillary. Someday “I’m with Her” will be a thing they’ll wish they’d never said.

Violet Crepuscular Takes Aim at Hillary

Vector illustration of Cute lobster cartoon Stock Vector Image & Art - Alamy

This is really too much! Hillary Clinton teams up with some “best-seller” romance writer and presto! A political/romantic thriller. And they get to be on all those TV shows.

State of Terror, my knooshka! My co-author is Kenny the Lobster. He’s the one who came up with Mr. Bigcheeks. We haven’t been offered any TV time! And yet my masterpiece in progress, Oy, Rodney, is almost 500 chapters long–much longer than freakin’ Hillary’s. The only way she’d ever get to 500 chapters would be to write about her crooked dirty deals!

No, no face-time on Good Morning, America for me! Anyone can have her name put on a book cover! If she actually wrote 15 words of that book, that’d be 15 more words than I thought.

Wish I could get Kenny into the bathtub with her!

Oh, No, Say It Ain’t So!

I have included the above video clip just so you don’t think I’ve made this up. You don’t have to watch the whole thing. I haven’t. You can only go through so many barf bags.

My editor, Susan, challenged me, “Guess who’s written a romance novel!” Well, if I’d had a hundred guesses a day, it still would’ve taken me several years to work my way down to… Hillary Clinton. And actually it’s not just a romance; it’s also a “thriller” about “terrorists”–ya mean parents who come to school board meetings?–getting their hands on nuclear weapons.

Silly terrorists. Can’t they wait for Hillary and Biden and Kerry and Obama to finish arming Iran, and then buy the nukes from the mullahs?

Now, if you can imagine a less “romantic” or more integrity-challenged character than Hillary, do me a favor and don’t tell me who it is.

Oh–and she’s partnered up with a “New York Times best-seller,” romance writer Louise Penny. One hand washes the other.

I think I’d better go lie down.

All those poor devils out there, working themselves to death, fighting off despair, etc., etc. trying to become published writers–and there’s Hillary Clinton having it handed to her on a silver platter. Has this woman ever earned anything in all her life?

They tell me Stacey Abrams writes romance novels, too, under a pseudonym.

I think I’m going to be sick.

‘Assorted Left-Wing Jidrools: “Religious Beliefs Must Change”‘ (2015)

Hillary Clinton: Trump is too dangerous and unstable to have the nuclear  codes | Hillary Clinton | The Guardian

“Listen up, you peasants!”

Remember how they thought they were going to have Hillary as president and could finally finish off whatever Obama left of America? In anticipation of that happy event, in 2015 libs ‘n’ progs were excitedly babbling about how “religious beliefs”–meaning only Christian beliefs and nobody else’s–would have to “change” to embrace abortion and same-sex pseudo-marriage.

Assorted Left-Wing Jidrools: ‘Religious Beliefs Must Change!’

But they hit a pothole named Donald Trump and the scheme had to be abandoned for the time being. Since then, they’ve had to keep it on the back burner. The idea is, “We can’t open the camps until we lock down our ownership of the entire government.”

They never said just how “religious beliefs” would be made to “change.”

Pray we never find out.