It has been widely reported that Hillary Clinton has not made a concession speech after losing the election yesterday: that she didn’t even come out, from wherever she was hiding, to thank her staff.
But according to a not terribly reliable but really cool source, she did come out to speak to her staff after all cameras and microphones were banned from the room. And this is what she said:
“Thanks for nothin’, you miserable bunch of ____ing losers! You lazy ____ing cretins! You let me down, you ____ed me over, I shoulda been 50 points ahead and I woulda won if you hadn’t ____ing blown it for me, you [heavily censored], you traitors, you incompetent ____s! Well, don’t think the vast right-wing conspiracy can help you now! Wait’ll you see what ____ing happens to you!”
At this point, says our source, the candidate lapsed into incoherent gibberish and had to be removed to an undisclosed location.