Dr. Floyd Rubbish
An honored academic, Dr. Floyd Rubbish, Professor of Gender and Social Justice at Effing University, has accused President-elect Donald Trump of practicing witchcraft.
“I seen him when he thinked nobody was looking!” the professor told MSNBC Fake News. “And guess what he done! Well, first he turnt hisself into a rabbit, and then he turnt hisself back into Donald Trump, and then he climbed onto a broom and he flyed away!”
Having seen this scandalous phenomenon, Professor Rubbish immediately reported it to the Democrat National Committee, who passed it on to the FBI’s Partisan B.S. Unit. Rubbish was paid $75,000 by the DNC to cover his travel expenses. He has donated most of his gratuity to the Clinton Foundation.
Senator Chuck Waggon (D-Mordor) said Trump would now have to step down in favor of Hillary Clinton. “We’ve got him now!” drooled the Democrat Senator. “He’s not going to wiggle out of this one. And anyhow, Hillary will make a better witch, she’s had much more practice.”