A Salute to the Nooze Media

To: All staff and personnel at The New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, and other assorted nooze media

Re: James Comey hearings

In which it becomes apparent even to you–well, maybe not to you, but surely to everybody else–that President Trump is not, and has not been, under investigation, and that neither Comey nor anyone else has found any evidence that “the Russians stole the election from Hillary.”

You have been telling lies.

And here is your reward.

Candidate Body-Slams Noozie–and Wins Election

Still no actual video, but here’s the audio…

Okay, 70% of the vote had already been cast when Republican candidate Greg Gianforte ran out of patience with a reporter from the British left-wing newspaper, The Guardian, and allegedly body-slammed him (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/montana-gianforte-body-slammed-reporter-late-night-1007995). I haven’t found any video of the incident.

In Montana’s special Congressional election, Gianforte won with 50% of the vote, the Democrat getting only 43%. It would have been an even bigger blowout if not for a Libertarian joke candidate siphoning off another 5%.

Gianforte has been charged with a misdemeanor assault. Meanwhile, noozies and late-night “comics” have been beating their breasts over the incident and trying to blame it all on Donald Trump in particular and Republicans in general. They need to get out more. Try walking across the Berkeley campus with a Trump button on your lapel and see if you can make it.

They’re also flummoxed by the public’s sudden (as they see it) lack of love, honor, and respect for their profession, laughingly known as “journalism.” They should watch British TV shows and movies. If you can find one, just one, example of “journalists” being portrayed as anything better than a swarm of noisy buzzing blowflies, then you’ve found something rare indeed.

Yes, noozies–we regular people distrust you, find you annoying, consider you profoundly dishonest, and, on the whole, despise you. We know you’re hand in glove with left-wing politicians who hate us, consider us “deplorables,” and want to pull the country out from under us. We know what you’re up to!

And if you really, truly expect us to be upset because someone body-slammed one of you, you’ve got more screws loose than we thought.

They Are Not Smarter Than You

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One of the things that intimidates regular people, and deters them from standing up to liberals, is the overall perception–largely created and fostered by liberals themselves–that liberals are intellectuals, terribly smart people who must be taken seriously. That would include virtually all Democrats.

In my lifetime, every Democrat who ever ran for president was depicted as a genius by the liberal-biased nooze media, and every Republican, an utter ass.  There’s even a little formula that goes with this.

*Liberals/Democrats went to expensive schools, so they must be smart.  *They are in favor of things that don’t make any sense to us, so they must be smarter than us.   *Conservatives are in favor of a lot of the same things we’re in favor of, and against most of the things that we’re against–so they mustn’t be that smart.

In reality, liberal politicians are no smarter than you are, and probably a great deal less. Al Gore, for instance–Mr. “The Science is Settled!”–has no more science background than a mud puppy.Image result for images of mud puppies

Raised in the bubble of the hereditary political class, he has a political science degree–big deal, I’ve got one, too–and tried his hand at both law school and divinity school without finishing either one.  I guess it’s poetic justice that such a scarecrow as Gore should be the spokesman for a thoroughly corrupt and politicized scientific establishment, one dominated by prostitutes. But at least his non-existent science background goes a very long way to explaining his persistent refusal to debate his Global Warming/Climate Change/We’re-all-gonna-die message. Up against any kind of scientific opposition, he’d get creamed.

The point is, none of these left-wing philosopher-kings has any more intelligence than God gave to a mealworm. Fear them not! Any satirist worth his salt can mow them down like grass.

Remember Obama and his 57 states–and his total mystification by the very concept of saving or creating jobs in America–you would’ve thought it was magic, on a par with spinning straw into gold–and how Donald Trump, before he was even inaugurated, took common-sense action that has so far  brought back thousands of jobs. But then Trump is not a genius.

Liberals: no, they don’t want you to look behind the curtain!

New Charge Against Trump: Witchcraft!

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Dr. Floyd Rubbish

An honored academic, Dr. Floyd Rubbish, Professor of Gender and Social Justice at Effing University, has accused President-elect Donald Trump of practicing witchcraft.

“I seen him when he thinked nobody was looking!” the professor told MSNBC Fake News. “And guess what he done! Well, first he turnt hisself into a rabbit, and then he turnt hisself back into Donald Trump, and then he climbed onto a broom and he flyed away!”

Having seen this scandalous phenomenon, Professor Rubbish immediately reported it to the Democrat National Committee, who passed it on to the FBI’s Partisan B.S. Unit. Rubbish was paid $75,000 by the DNC to cover his travel expenses. He has donated most of his gratuity to the Clinton Foundation.

Senator Chuck Waggon (D-Mordor) said Trump would now have to step down in favor of Hillary Clinton. “We’ve got him now!” drooled the Democrat Senator. “He’s not going to wiggle out of this one. And anyhow, Hillary will make a better witch, she’s had much more practice.”

Noozies Wonder, ‘Why Don’t They Love Us Anymore?’

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No one is less aware of how others see him than a liberal; and the news media dorks are the most obtuse liberals around.

They take money from the Democrats; they send their questions to Democrat candidates in advance, and help script answers for them; they purposely suppress information unfavorable to Democrats, or to their policies; they tirelessly berate the American people as biggits, rubes, ignoramuses, rednecks, Nazis, haters, and morons… and then they wonder why so many of us not only mistrust them, but have actually begun to let them know it.

If we don’t say “Thank you!” when they pee on our couch, they complain about how unjust we are.

Yes, noozies everywhere are singin’ the blues about a lack of love (http://www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2016/10/26/triggered-journalist-snowflakes-scared-trump-supporters-are-turning-on-the-media/ http:// ). Like, don’t we know they only lie to us for our own good, because we can’t handle the truth? “Boo-hoo! Those ungrateful peasants! Why, they just don’t love us anymore!”

So they feel “threatened.” “Menaced.” Especially by those Trump supporters who are just too dumb to appreciate how wise they are, how noble, how selflessly devoted to the Democrat Party which is the only thing that anyone should ever be devoted to.

And they whine about us trying to scare them out of being a truly free press.

Dudes! You squandered away your freedom without any help from us! You sold out. Your whole journalistic enterprise has become just one non-stop commercial for the Democrats and their whole Global Warming, open borders, transgender program. If you’re not free, it’s only because you’ve sold yourselves into servitude. Don’t blame us!

It’s all your fault–and yes, we despise you for it.