A Referendum on the Bill of Rights?

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Moving up in the polls!

An obscure candidate for the 2020 Democrat presidential nomination, children’s book publisher Kay Lastima, wants to hold a binding national referendum on the Bill of Rights. Ms. Lastima is so far back in the pack, she leads only New York Mayor “Bill DeBlasio” (not his real name) in the race for the nomination.

But her call for a referendum on the Bill of Rights already has most of the other candidates leaping aboard the bandwagon.

“Let’s face it!” she told CNN last night. “Some of those old, outmoded provisions in the Bill of Rights need to be voted off the island! One thing I’ve learned in my business–either you keep up with the times, or the times will keep up with you!”

Ms. Lastima’s publishing company, Fat-Head Books, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy earlier this year after its most ambitious book, Babies Like Getting Aborted, failed to sell a single copy. She currently lives with her mother at the Tie-Dee-Bole Adult Community in Earwig Cove, Florida.

“Look how they’re all following my lead already!” she said. “Bernie, Beto, Liz, Kamala, Spartacus, and even boring old Uncle Joe–they all agree with me that the whole Bill of Rights should be scrapped and then replaced with something better. But I’m the only one who already has the Southern Poverty Law Center drawing up replacement rights! Who needs a right to free speech, when you’ve got a right to free cable TV? Who needs a right to bear arms, when you’ve got a right to a free college degree in Gender Studies? Out with the old, in with the new!”

Appearing on CNN last night, Ms. Lastima wore a “Your Country Sucks!” T-shirt and an Annunaki hat made from half a volleyball.

9 comments on “A Referendum on the Bill of Rights?

  1. As a sign of the times…. Up until the third paragraph, and despite the woman’s “name,” I was able to believe that this might be a factual report rather than satire. That’s how bad things are getting. 🙁

  2. They sure do, and it is getting to be just too much for me. I especially HATE seeing women behaving like idiots. In my younger days, it was expected of females to set the tone for civility. apparently not any more.

    1. It’s a satire–there isn’t really a Kay Lastima (“what a shame” in Spanish). But there have been some Democrat rumblings about putting the kibosh on the Bill of Rights.

  3. Yes, I know. I was looking at the horrific photo above and it almost made me up-chuck.

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