Tag Archives: crazy Democrats

A Referendum on the Bill of Rights?

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Moving up in the polls!

An obscure candidate for the 2020 Democrat presidential nomination, children’s book publisher Kay Lastima, wants to hold a binding national referendum on the Bill of Rights. Ms. Lastima is so far back in the pack, she leads only New York Mayor “Bill DeBlasio” (not his real name) in the race for the nomination.

But her call for a referendum on the Bill of Rights already has most of the other candidates leaping aboard the bandwagon.

“Let’s face it!” she told CNN last night. “Some of those old, outmoded provisions in the Bill of Rights need to be voted off the island! One thing I’ve learned in my business–either you keep up with the times, or the times will keep up with you!”

Ms. Lastima’s publishing company, Fat-Head Books, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy earlier this year after its most ambitious book, Babies Like Getting Aborted, failed to sell a single copy. She currently lives with her mother at the Tie-Dee-Bole Adult Community in Earwig Cove, Florida.

“Look how they’re all following my lead already!” she said. “Bernie, Beto, Liz, Kamala, Spartacus, and even boring old Uncle Joe–they all agree with me that the whole Bill of Rights should be scrapped and then replaced with something better. But I’m the only one who already has the Southern Poverty Law Center drawing up replacement rights! Who needs a right to free speech, when you’ve got a right to free cable TV? Who needs a right to bear arms, when you’ve got a right to a free college degree in Gender Studies? Out with the old, in with the new!”

Appearing on CNN last night, Ms. Lastima wore a “Your Country Sucks!” T-shirt and an Annunaki hat made from half a volleyball.


Election, 2024: Sure-Fire Predictions

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My friend–who does not wish to be identified, so I’ll call him Roscoe–can see the future by concentrating deeply and peering into a jar of Miracle Whip. “Don’t tell anyone my real name,” he says. “Otherwise someone’ll try this at home and wind up in the emergency room, and then they’ll sue me.” Hint: you have to open the jar.

I fear for the future of my country, so yesterday I consulted Roscoe and he did his thing–really, I don’t know how he finds the strength and courage. In a few minutes, he was observing the 2024 presidential election.

At first it was just brief messages. “Vote for me! I have the most tattoos!” “Vote for me! I can eat a Tide pod and not get sick!” “Vote for me! I can’t be deported if I’m president!” And then Beto Somebody saying, “We learned your language by monitoring your TV and radio transmissions.”

“I see a crowd covering the state of Rhode Island,” Roscoe begins to chant hypnotically. “No, wait–it’s not a crowd, it’s all the Democrat candidates. Sure are a lot of ’em!”

He sees campaign promises. Free college for all. Guaranteed minimum universal basic income of $15 per hour for every hour you remain alive. Double that if you vote Democrat more than once in each election. Public offices awarded to all Women Of Color, complete with pension. Free housing for all. Free food at your city’s finest restaurant. “There’s a Kamala Something out there who wants everybody to be registered as another gender, in case they want to change. Free gender reassignment for every person in America!” Roscoe shudders. “I think she means it!”

Now, he says, “The Miracle Whip’s getting all murky, I can’t make out the pictures. I’m afraid that’s it for today.”

“But wait, you can’t stop there! You’ve got to tell me who wins the election!”

But he only shakes his head and mutters, “There are some things it’s better not to know.”

 

 


Dems’ Yang Has Plan to Make Nooze Media Even Worse

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Ah, the good old days, when government owned the news!

Andrew Yang is a pip, and he wants to be the Democrats’ 2020 candidate for president. So first he comes out with a scheme to give every person “in” America–we think “in” includes people who are here illegally–$1,000 a month; and now he’s got a plan for the federal government to take over the news industry (https://townhall.com/columnists/terryjeffrey/2019/03/20/a-coming-attack-on-freedom-of-speech-n2543404).

In Russia they called it “Pravda.”

Waxing nostalgic for “the days of three major networks and a few news programs that said the same thing,” Mr. Stalin–er, Yang–wants to lay down “rules” for any news reporting or commentary on the social media, and appoint a commissar–er, “ombudsman”–to “identify sources of spurious information that are associated with foreign nationals.” Uh-huh. There’s that pesky Russian collusion again! Boo-hoo, Hillary shoulda been president!

Where was I? Oh–Mr. Yang says “fake news and misinformation spread via social media threatens to undermine our democracy.” Actually we have a constitutional republic, not a democracy; but don’t tell him that. There’s much too much “fragmentation of media,” he says, so we’ve got to “re-unify the media.”

What planet is he on? Well, you can never have too much censorship, can you? There should be no news outlets friendly to conservatism, to Donald Trump, or to anything or anyone else that Mr. Yang and his Far Left playmates don’t endorse.

He has also proposed to create a billion-dollar fund of government money for “local journalism.” Journalism that the government likes will be rewarded. It’s sort of a plan for the government to buy the subservience of journalism–not that there’s all that much “journalism” out there that isn’t already abjectly subservient to the Democrat Party.

Man, I’m tired of covering this nooze. Is there any Democrat out there who’s not crazy? Who’s not a flaming communist? Who’s not trying to turn this country into a Venezuela with cold winters? Oh, there are–only they’re just invisible and silent?

Imagine waking up in the kind of America they’re trying to create.

How anybody but a lunatic, a fool, or a villain can vote for any of this stuff is way beyond me.


They’re All Crazy

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Hey! Remember that “fundamental transformation” of America that Obama and his playmates wanted to do? Well, it’s baaaaaaaaack!

Yesterday we likened the Democrats’ “Green New Deal,” as pitched to us by first-year Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-The Twilight Zone), to a bubbling vat of pure lunacy. Now we discover that she’s not alone: the whole party’s diving in (https://www.yahoo.com/news/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-green-deal-195205387.html?.tsrc=jtc_news_index).

Tear down every single building in America, and rebuild it. Replace air travel with high-speed rail–damn the oceans, full speed ahead. Guaranteed government jobs for everyone. Guaranteed universal basic income. Medicare for All. All jobs to be unionized. No more privately-owned cars.

Would you believe it? Introduced to Congress as a resolution, not a bill, this bilge, this poppycock, this flagrantly unconstitutional horses***, now has nine co-sponsors in the Senate, 64 in the House of Representatives, and has been endorsed by all of the Democrats’ 2020 presidential hopefuls–repeat, all of them.

See, we’ve got “to transform the economy and combat the devastating effects of climate change” and “the danger of extreme weather events” and also get rid of “income inequality” while we’re at it… Yowsah, the government’s going to guarantee good weather!

They’re all crazy. They’ve all drunk crazy juice. The whole flamin’ party.

How about it, America? Are you happy now, that you’ve allowed these wack-jobs to take the House of Representatives? “Oh, well, as long as they tear down my house and take away my car last–!” I mean, do we really have to answer all this crazy crapola? You can’t see anything wrong with it? It doesn’t bother you that a whole national political party has signed on to it?

The scariest part of all is that for some reason, these people no longer feel the need to masquerade as sane. For ages they’ve passed themselves off as “moderate.” Now they’ve torn off the mask and thrown it away.

That scares me.


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