Spotted on the bulletin board at the Fimbo College Social Justice Intersectional Boombatz Center: “work wanted” ads posted by students who were graduated in June and are now feeling the pinch.
SUPERHERO EXPERT! Your child may has what it takes To be a Superhero, but how would you know? Hire me to monnator your child for Superhero Tendoncies! Give me room and board and salary and I’ll do the rest!!
I CAN TEATCH YOU how to spot Micro-Aggressions! And who to call if you hear one! AND HOW TO WIND UP GETTING MONEY $$ OUT OF IT! Don’t let Them offend you any more!!
WORK WANTED: VIDDEO GAME TRAINER! I just spend four (4) years earning a Degree in Viddeo Game Strageties, and I CAN HELP YOUR SCORES GO UP, WAY UP! Beleave me, I’VE GOT GAME!! And you can have it too! Hire your own LIVE-IN GAMING COATCH!!
I WILL GIVE YOU TOTAL EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!! Nothing Studies Major, 6 year Associate Degree. TIRED OF GETTING NO RESPECT?? I WILL PRAIZE YOU ALL DAY EVERY DAY!! I am the One who will tell you how fantastic and amazing you are! Great for self-esteem! With me around, YOU WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE A LOSER AGAIN!! Salary negotiabble as long as it’s $1,000 at least.
There were more, but now I’m sitting in the eye doctor’s waiting room and can’t write anything else.