I happened to encounter this post yesterday. Was that the one with all the funny comments? Yes, it was–“Souper Man He Is Woke!!!” And not to blow my own horn, but it gave me a laugh and I think it’ll do the same for you.
Really, I’m so tired of superheroes! And movies based on comic books. It tires me out just to know there are people “studying” this **** in college, and paying wheelbarrows full of money for the privilege.
We hadded a Brillyint lexture tooday “in” Nothing Studdies!”!” It “was” awl abuot Incollusion!!!
Trye “to” unnerstand this “heer” Poynt,, it “is” Very suttle!!!! Waht Is “the” diffrints betwean Incollusion “and” Excollusion??
Incollusion is wen we Do it,, and Excollusion is wen thay do it!!!! Wen we Do it, that Is Socile Jutstus! Wen thay doo it, that is Hait!!!! and aslo Racism! This gits conphusing!!
That it is wye we nead Two dickshinairies-(-one foar us Good Peeple and “The” other for awl themb Biggits out thare!!!!!! Otherwyes a dickshinairy it wood Be Too Big and reel hard “to” Carry aruound!!!! And besydes noboddy butt “a” Racist wood whant the Racist dickshinairy!!!! And We sirtinly doughnt whant enny “of” thayr Hatful wirds in our dickshinairy!!!!!!
Ownly by geting Ridd of no-good stinkin biggits, Ownly be excolluding themb, will we evver has incollusion!!!!!!!!!!
See haow Suttle that is?? Yiu has to Be “in” collidge a Long Tyme befoar yiu Are smart enuough To unnderstan It!!!!!!
Wow!! We hadded a lexture in Nothing Studdies tooday awl abuout Jobydin he “is a” Genus!!! Whey back wen “he was” a collidge Stoodint lyke me,, he Invented “the” faymis eequaysion E=mc2!!!!!! Izznt that Fabuyliss!!!!
“And” that “Is Not” the ownlie Thing he dun!!~!~! He was aslo a Truk Dryver and he plaid in the NFL tooo!!!!!!! And beefouir he “was” a Grate Cervint of Pressadint O’bomma he was In “the” Sennit fore 55 (fifftyfyve!) yeers, yiu cood Look It Up!!!! and wile he was In the Sennit he aslo invented Syvvil Rites!!!!!
I know “the” Far Riht thay say sumb guy naimed Eyestine he Infentid E=mc2 but yiu know “how” thay lye!!!!!!!! That is wye yiu doughnt “See” Eyestine arownd No moar!!!
It awl gose To Sho haow Lucky we Are to has Jobydin “in tHe ” Wyte Hauose with 88 millyin voats!!!!!!!! I doughnt thinck enny One butt Racists diddnt Voat for himb!!!!! And awl the Poles thay say Jobydin he whil Win “agin” neckst yeer!!!!! That thair is wye thay caul themb Opin-Yin Poles!!!
Awl we kneed Nhow is a Expecyutiff Odor to maik “it” aginst The Law to voat “Foar” enny-boddy Elss!!!!
“We” jist got somb TEARRABLE NEWS!!!!!
Ar Collidge thay jist anounsed “that” thay Arent “goingto” Gradurate ennyone this yeer!!!! No deegrees!!!!!! Waht a shok!!!!!!!
Butt at leest thar’e dooing “it” “foar” “a” Good Reezin!!!! The reezin tha’re Not gradurating ennyboddy is To Pro-test Sisstembic Racism!!!!!!!! Nhow I un-derstand!! Evin So, It was a shok!!!
Insted “of” a Deegree,, thay Are givving “us” theeze heer Winny the Poo doles lyke “the” one in The pixture!! The Deen she sayed “”That whil hoald yiu Un-till awl vestridges of Racism and Wyte Struprempacy thay are No moar!”!”!”
So we awl gots “to” stay anether Yeer to git our Diplomer “butt that whil Ownly maik yiu a hole Yeer beter eddicated” she sayed!!!! Well I gess a Deegree In Nothing Studdies it “is” werth the waight!!! Its too bad I flunked Nookuler Fizzicks!! I whil has to fyned anether Miner Sujbeckt! Mayby try Cal-Culiss!
We whil aslo be aloud to creeyate Our Own Diplomers butt thay woont Count! But it whil be Good Practiss iff enny “of” us go Into Guvvermint!!!!!!
Dambit, they saided “it” is Fryday wen reely “its” Therzday and so I hadded “to” whork Reel Harrd “jist to” rite this heer S.A. and “then It” terns Out its Not Fryday affter awl!!!!!!!!
I “was” goingto rite Abuot Eeleksion Rephorm becose “thay” teached Us Abuot It in Nothing Studdies and we has “Two” (2!) prombles 1} thay lets Crischins and Repubicans voat wen thay Shoodn”t” voat at awl (3
We has got “a” new deegree pogrom!!! It is cawled You Studdies,, be-cose awl yiu gots to studdy “Is” Yore Selff!!!! Haow coool is “that”!”!??
Nhow yiu “can” spend five (^5^) yeers jist studdying Yore Selff!! The Deen she sayed “We has to Do “this” becuase Nothing Studdies it “is” tooo Harrd foar lots “of” “the” Stoodints! And sumb of Themb thay jist wowned up drinkin Fromb “the” Goal Fissh Pond and not lurning nothing and a fyew Of themb thay got Sick and thare famblys thay sooed The Collidge”!”!!
Butt frist they tryed jist “givving Out” deegrees foar nothing at awl “and” the Collidge it got sooed foar That tooo!!!!! Iff ownly “we” cood Get Rid “of” Famblys we wood awl be Beter Off!!!!
The grate Thing abowt You Studdies is,, It Is ***Flunck-Proof***!!! I meen haow can yiu possablee fale You Studdies!!!! Butt jist to maik Sure it “is” sucksestfull, the Stoodints thay whil be aloud to Graid Thembselffs!!! And jist In Caiss “that” doughnt whork ether, Stoodints who stil doughnt gett It,, thay whil has Mentaurs to hellp themb studdy thayrselffs!!!!!
I wunder iff i awt To chainge my Majer….?
[Last week we had a cock-up on the college front and Joe Collidge failed to appear in his usual Friday slot. Amazingly, no one complained.]
Didd yiu heer the tearrable news??? I cant beleave “it!”!” And jist affter “we winned” the Elexion tooo!!!!!!!
Some stopid juj in Tecksis ((oar “was” it Indier? i get them twoo micksed up!!)) he sayed thare Cant “be” “no” Stoodint Lone Fourgiftness!!!!!
Sints wen did anny boddy maik himb Pressadint??? Heer “at” our Collidge, “the” Stoodint Soviet we instintlie sended Off “a” leter to Pressadint Jobiden to tel himb he shood awght “to” throe That Thare Juj in jale!!!! and maby feeed himb To “the” allygaters tooo!!!!!! HOW DAIR HE??? Whoo dose “he” Thinck he “is?”!” Wat kined Of dimmocrasee Is it “wen” sumb juj he woont “let the” Pressadint do stuph???
Of corse we has bin Saying awl “allong” that thare shood awght To Be Freee Collidge foar evvry one butt Cristchins!!!!! and a free bortion too!!! If we hadded Soshalism no-boddy wood has to pay foar “enny-Thing!!”” And Collidge it “is” a Nessessaty Of Lyfe!!!!!! I lernt that In Nothing Studies!!
Whithout All “the” “grate” eddicasion i get In Collidge, I wood Be a Boob!!!!
We has got “a” New Coarse in Nothing Studdies it is caled Kleptozoology and I has sined Up “foar” it!!!
This heer Coarse it “is of crypticle impotence” that is waht “the” Prefesser he sayed!! It is awl abuote haow to libberate Zooo aminels (“as” yiu Can see fromb the Pixture!)!”! It is toatelly Racist “to” keeep aminols in zooos!!!! Ownly strait Wyte Mails doo that!!!!!
To pass “the” Coarse yiu has got to libberate at leest One (1) annamol from The Zooo! and turn it looose!!!!! Iff yiu Grabb “a” lyon bye The Back Leggs yiu Can “pull” it Oaut “of” the Caige and it Cant Turn araound And byte yiu!!!!!!
But it doant has “to be” a Lyon, it can “be” a Ellerfint,, a RINO, oar a Griller too!!!!!! Enny anmal yiu wannt!! Thare “was” a Gye in Jippan oar somb plaice,, he puled Out a crockadile bye The Tale so he got a A in the Coarse!!!! It “is” jist tooo bad the crockadile it bited his Arm off!!!!!!!! And a Wimmin she libberated a Noot!!! I wood lyke To libberate a Tygger!!!!!!!!!! Iff yiu pull The Tale it Cant byte yiu!!!!
Somb very Grate parsons thay has studdied Klepto-Zoology but i whil ownly naim To of themb,, Jon Stink and Ellanoar Rosevellt!!!!!
We herd a lexture “too-day” In Nothing Studdies that reely Skaired us!!!!! It “was” awl abote The Dizeeze “of” Oaled Aige!!!!!!
I useta thinck Oaled Aige it “was” cawzed By geting oalder but Nhow i knowe That’s Rong!!!! Noe!!! It is cawzed By Wyte Privlidge “and” Trans-Foabier!!!! and it is awl Wyte peples’ Fawlt and iff thare wazznt Noe Wyte poeple then thare woodnt Be noe Oaled Aige!!!!!!
Has yiu knotissed that Trans Peoeple thay nevver get Oaled???? Has you knowtissed that Minorites thay get Oaled wurst than Wyte peaple??? Our lexturer he sayed “Of coarse Minorites thay awlyaws get Shafftid and thare wazznt no Oaled Aige untill Wyte peoaeple thay Evolved fromb reely Bad “mungky”s!”!”
Becose “of” Thiss,, the ownly Thing “we” Can “Do” is throe awl Wyte poeaeple “in” Jale and taik awl thare Munny “and” thair Stuph and Re-diskribute It “to” Minorites!!!!! This it wood Be “reprayssions!”!”” This heer “it” “is” reel troo Socile Jutstus!!!!!!!! and then sumb Hater Biggit he sayed “Whel waht abuot Hillery? Wood yiu putt “her” In Jale and taik” awl her Stuph?”?”? Kneeless to say,, we beeted himb Up!!!!
That lexture it reely Bummbed me Out,, i thick i whil Eat somb jim sox nhow!!!
We hadded “a” amayzing Lexture tooday it “was” Saposed to Be “waht do yiu Do “affter” yiu finnish whith Collidge”,, whel wow that “Is A” scairy thawt!!!!!!! We wer alll Scaired of wahtt she was Goingto Say!!!
Butt “it” terned Ouwt “tobe” A bigg Sapprize!!!!! Becawse ghess Wat???
Thare is no “Affter Collidge!”!”!”
Hear i whas worry-ying abuot wen I finnish and Get “my” deegree “in” Nothing Studies, like, then watt Do i Doo?????? Well thats Simpple!!! Yiu “staye” In Collidge and keeep On studdying untill yiu Get yur Massters!!! That taiks like Ten (1’0) yeers! And then yiu Staye in Collidge amether fifthteen (1’5) or Sixthteen yeers (1’6) untill yiu Get The Bigg One, yore PhuD!!!!!!!!!! Then yiu canbe a Prefesser and staye In Collidge sumb moar, at leest Untill yiu re-tyre and Get a “grate” bigg Pention so yiu “can Go” On croozes and stuph!@!!!!!
So, sea, thare “is” Nothing “to” whorry abuot!!!! Yiu jist stayh in Collidge and yiu nevver leeve!!!!! Yiu jist keep Getting Smarter “and” Smarter lyke I doo!!!!!!