Joe Collidge’s Term Paper

What to Do If Your High Schooler Has Failing Grades

Soddenly Our Collidge thay has desided “it” gots tobe moar Riggerice (wattevver That meens!!) and we shood “alll” has “to” rite Termb Paypers!!! Even in Nothing Studdies!!! It is crool,, butt thay say somb Haters in the Stayte Lejaslaychur thay are “goingto” taik A-whay A Lott “Of” our funnding unlest thare “is” moar Eddicaytshun hapening!!!!! That it is wye we has to rite Termb Paypers!!!! To proove the Collidge is knot jist waysting Munny!!!!!!

Wel i nevver rote no Term Payper the hole tyme i Been “in” collidge!! The prefesster she sayed “Jist reite yore Idear”^^ that aynt No helpp!! Idear? I hasnt hadded no Idear sints, like, Evver!!!!!!!!!!

Forchinittly my frend Fottzy, he hadded A Grate Idear and he sayed “Wye doughnt yiu jist rite watt i rite?? Weere all “goingto” rite “The saimb” Thing!!!”! That shoor taiked a lode Offf my “Mined”!” Aslo it is a whay “to” cellerbrayt Dyvercity!!!!

So our Toppick it is “Jo Bydin He Is “The” Re-Carnation of Pressadint Obomma and Pressadint Obomma He “Is” Naow A god!!!!!!!!!!” It is a grate toppick and we whill Awl “get” a A+++!!!

Somb Hater he sayed Jobydin he “is” Oalder thann Pressadint Obomma so he caint possablee be himb and anywhay Pressadint Obomma he “is” still Hear so he caint Be Re-in-carnaytid At All!!!!””!  So we al beet himb Up!!!!

Boy it “Is” Harrd to rite a Termb Payper, thay “are” maikin us rite A Hundrid 100 Werds and itt is Taikin me al Dhay!!!!!!!!

Stoopid Is Smart!!!!!

Do Memes Make College Students Stupid or Vice Versa? | ScholarshipOwl

Oh themb Biggits “and” Haters!!! Thay alyaws saying Collidge it “is” stoopid and aslo “it” maiks Us Stoodints evin stoopider “then” we all-reddy Are!!!!!

Yeahwell like one “of” my Nothing Studdies prefessers he sayed,, “Stoopid is the Dore Way to Smart”!” Ha ha!!!!!!!!

He eggsplaned “it”,, “Yiu got “to Be” Stoopid befoar yiu “canbe” Smart”” and aslo he Sayed yiu Has got tobe A Ninkumpoop befoar “yiu” canbe a Interllectural!!!! Becose awl “the” Reely Stoopid ones thay are Out Thair whorking and hasing famblies and That “is” wye thair isnt no Socile Jutstus!!!! Like watt cood “be” moar Stoopid than That???

Ordrinary dum peeple thay Think yiu has got “to” knowe Inglish % Histry $ Syints & Masthmaticks @ Littertchure and boy “are” thay Stoopid for “thinkin” That!!!! No Boddy kneeds “to” knoew enny “Of” that stuph BECOSE IT IS ALLL RACIST!!!”! But us Interllecturals heer “At” Collidge we are Pro-tecktid fromb knowing dum and stoopid stuph lyke That!!!! We Know Crickital Race Theery!!!!!! and Fifftie Genders!!!! and that is awl we kneed to knoew!!!!

Pop-Aye he wuz Reel!!!

The Polish Roots of Popeye | Article | Culture.pl

Collidge it is So grate!!! Tooday we hased a lexture “In” Nothing Studdies and i lernt somb Thing i diddnt know “be”foar!!!

Pop-Aye the Saler,, thay cawled himb That “be”cawse salers thay “Are” alyaws saying Aye-Aye,, he wuz “a” Reel Perdson!!!!!! Ownly it wuzznt True abuot himb eeting Spinnitch “to get” Strawng, no it wuzznt Spinnitch it was Pot!!! Maryywanna! Wen Pop-Aye he kneeded Sooper Stringth,,, he smoaked Pot!!!!! and it maid himb “as” strawng as Stuper Man!!!!!! In facked, the prefesser sayed, “Yiu cood nevver” say “whoo wood Win “in” a Fite betweeen Pop-Aye “and” Stuper Man!!”!”

He didded moast “Of” his salering in Kanzziz or Bacteria ((i ferget witch One), he billt this heer Grate Big Schip the SS Olav Oil witch he naimed “foar” “his” gril frend and get this!!! She wuz a Trans Wimmin!!!!! that is wye she looked Like that. He saled his schip Alll Ohver The Oshin untill Global Warming it maid the oshin dry Up and bloe Awhey!!!! He tryed to “dig” A “new” oshin but Gorge W Bussh that rat! he Stopped himb!!!

Layter onn “in” Lyfe Pop-Aye he becommed a Socile Juststus Wirer and chaced al the Snaiks out of Eyerland!!

I caint hardly Wate foar “the” neckst Lexture!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Whare Is Jimb Crow???

Cartoon Crow High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

Sumbtimes a Collidge eddicasion it jist “blohs” yore Mynd!!!! and yiu think “”Haow come i nevver” “knowed this befour”??”

Yeasterday in Nothing Studdies we “lernt” awl aboat this heer Jimb Crow guy whoo “Is” aginst Pressadint Bydin and tryying “to” tern Amarica Intwo a Capptallist Countrie whith Chrischins in “it”!!!!!!!! It terns owt that “he” Has “been” dooing This foar Menny Yeers!!!

I immeedjitlee Ask’ed “Whell then haow Come” “he isnt been A-restid and putt in Jale???”?” I meen, man, yiu Caint Do Things Lyke That!!!!!!!!

The prefesser she ansurred “Its becose No Boddy knoaws whare he “is”!! And aslo too he is disguyzed As “a” Crow and yiu has sceen crows,, haow Can yiu possablie Tel one fromb Anether??”?”

Impotent poynt:: Thare “is” eevin Evvadints that Jimb Crow and Donold Trumpt thay “Are” “the” saim Purson!!!!! Whel that wood axplane a Lot “of” things!!

And then comming Back fromb “the” lexture i sceen a hole Buntch of Crows thay wher rihght thare on Our Kampis and thare Whasnt one of themb Waring A Faice Mask!!!!! Oh the Horrar of It!!!!!!!! Then I knowtised nun of The Pidgins was Waring Masks Neether!!!!!!!! Waht cood i doo butt Run Awaiy?? it whas Tearrafying!!!!!! i gess the Crows has teached the Pidgins to be Anty-Scyince!!!!

We has got to doo sumb-thing to keeep “all” themb Burds offf “our” Kampis!!!!!

 

Dambit!!! We has Got Hare Balls!!!!

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Dambit awll!!! Thare reely was Cat Hares in that Woke Co-Vidd Caik we hadded “last” weak,, “thare” Was lots “of” Cat Hares “in” It and i eated a hole Lot Of that caik and i Been has Hair Bawlls evry Day!!! jist lyke somb stopid Cat!!!!!!

Sombtymes “It Is” reeely harred To Be “a” Socile Jutstus Wirer,, nhow I cant Evin Eet jim sox whith-out “geting” anether Hare Bawll!! and i amb knot “the” ownly One!!! we has al has hairbawls!!!! and It Is “a” Big Shayme becose Pressadint Obomma he kneads “us” “to” Riot and do Protist stuph but itt Is So harred “to” brake shopp Whindows wile yiu “Are” hasing a hairbawlll!! Our hole Collidge we Are alll Sick!!!!! We tryed to has a meting “of” the Stoodint Soviet twoday And wee coodnt do it evry Boddy thay was Going eck-eck-eck all over!!

And thenn It got wurst!!!!!!!

Sumb guy he tolded us We cood “cure” Hare Bawlls by drinkin lots “of” hamb berger greece,, witch we beleaved and so somb “Of” us we tryed It “and” we coodnt Evin Pick “up” a brick let aloan Throwh It!!!!! Jist thinken Abuot it maiks me feeel Horrabull!!! I whish peeple thay wood “Be” moar Cairfull of waht thay Teeched us!!!!! How yiu goingto Be a Interllectural wen thay teeching Things witch maiks yiu evin Siccker???

We “are” supoased to got a Eczam too marrow in Nothing Studies and i jist amnt reddy F”or” it!!!!!!

 

Souper Man he Is Woke!!!!

I Wanted to Be Superman. I Failed. | Psychology Today Ireland

We hadded a spacial lexture in Nothing Studies this moaning it “was” All Abuot Souper Hearose exspatially Souper Man!!! I seen a Souper Man Moovy oncet but “I” “nevver” readed the boocks be Couse thare whas “tooo menny” Big Wurds in themb!!

So too-day “we” lurnt All Abuot Souper Man and hiss gurlfrend Lowest Lain,, and haow “he” “Puts” clotheses on sow he “canbe” Kunta Kinte i think thats “The” nayme!! He “and” Lowest thay Are boath Nooze Repotters!!!!

Souper Man he flyes al Aruoand the sitty so “he Can” Bust crimbinnles for Climbit Chainge DeNile, Miss Jendering, In Come Innyquailitty, Trans Fobbier, And SISTEMBIC RACISM (that Is “the” Big One!!)!!

Somb tyimes “he” “gets” Help fromb Utther Souper Hearose like Batt Man, Spyder Man, and Black Lies Mater!!! Oncet thay All whurked Toogetthar to Bust a “Churtch” ware the Minnistor he woodnt do Gay Marridge!!!! The Souper Hearose thay “had” “To” “Fihght” thare whay past Three Olled Laydys whoo was puting Flours in the Churtch Whindose!!!!

Fromb nhaow Onn, himb and Lowest Lain thay are goingto Fihght Wyte Privlidge and Trans Fobbier Et.c.!!

And I amb hapy thay “are” goingto Taik “a lot” Of themb Big Whurds ouat “Of” the Commick Boocks so i Can reed themb!!!!!!!

‘Bio Prof Says You Must Be a Biggit If You Think There Are Only Two Sexes’

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Biggited stoopid chromosomes

When did the university turn into the place where you went to “learn” things that are flatly and undeniably untrue? When did the liberal arts turn into Nothing Studies?

Bio Prof Says You Must Be a Biggit If You Think There Are Only Two Sexes

Behold, the woman is a fool–and a tenured fool, at that.

But what I’d really like to know is why–if she isn’t just plain crazy–she insists there are a whole bunch of genders instead of only two. What does she get out of it? Then again, what is our whole Western civilization getting out of the transgender delusion?

And why do we keep on pouring money into colleges–when we should be shutting them down, not building them up.

We Got Secrete collidge Coarses!!

Young woman hiding under the bed - Stock Photo - Dissolve

Hear at Collidge “this” weak thay tryed “to” Send alll us Stodents Home so thare isnt “that” menny “of” us lefft On Campas jist nhow butt The Stodent Soviet we toled the Amminastriation that iff “thay” maid us al Go Home we wood riot!!! So somb of “us” we “are” staying and annyway wye shood We Be “scaired” “of” a stopid Vyris???

I dont Know “wye” thay didded “this” butt The Addminastriation thay sayed fromb Nhow On al “our” coarses thay has “to be” teeched In Secrete!!!! Whe “are” Not aloud to tell no boddy abuot themb, wee “are Not” aloud to say waht thay bin Teeching Us!!!! In facked one of my Nothing Studdies prefessers she woont evin tel Us waht she “is” teeching us!!!!! “”Jist yiu maik Shure yiu lern it she sayed!!” butt watt doo we Cair, we Got Past/Fale nhow Insted of Graids and no boddy thay evver Fale!!!!

Anether prefesser he sayed “Wee shooda bin Dooing this “al allong” and teeching Nothing “in” Nothing Studdies!!!”” Whell he has a Poynt!!! Butt i amb pritty shure i Whas lerning Nothing anyway,, at leesed i Was Trying To lern Nothing!!

So nhow al The Coarses thay are Secrete,, sumb of us we Cant evin Fyned wat Haul the Class is saposed to be In!! This gye whoo eets Smart Flakes he says thay “are” dooing “This” to pertecked the Collidge fromb annyOne fynd Out watt thay “are” reely Teeching becose Iff “thay” knowed then we wood looze our Funding and aslo “Lots” of Dollers$$$!

Wen wee “are Not” acxurely in Classs we “are” saposed To hied Under Our Bedds so No One frumb rite-Wing biggit hat sites wil know we “Are” Still Hear and maik a Phuss aboat it!!!!!!!

My Favret Super Heero!!!

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Yeasterday in Nothing Studies “the” prefesser she assined us To Wreite a Termb Payper on “”Whom is Yore Favret Super Heero?””! It “is” doo by the End of “the” Smester and It whil cownt fore Haff our Grayd!!! But That it is “no” promble Becose she is goingto Give us All A’s annyhow,, it wood Be “a” Micro Grecian iff she gived us anny thing but a A!! She sayed this hear payper it “is” a Extrasize in Crickle Thinkking!!!!

Wel i was reely Stuck! Haow do yiu pick yore Favret Super Heero wen thare “is” so Menny Of “themb” and yiu Lyke themb alll??? SupraMan and BahtMan and Aqwavellva Man to saye Nothing “of” Wolfereen and the Blak Pander and Speiderman!!

Butt finely i desiddid my Favret Super Heero of themb “all” it is Wouldy Wouldpecker!!!!!!

Crimbinols and Climbit Chainge Denyars and Haters thay alll gives up and cry wen “thay” here Wouldy Wouldpecker lauhght!!!! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!! Wen thay here that they know thay Are finnish!!

And gee wow!!! I jist reelyzed “that” i can jist hand “in” this hear Post and that “whil” be my Termb Payper and i woont has to doo anny moar Work “on” it!!!!!!!!!!

Man i amb reely Geting “the” Hang of Collidge!!!

Woke Meddasin!!

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Sumbtimes it is a drag hasing Moth Antenners whitch i got affter thay “shotted me” Up with Moth Hoarmoans to i can be a trans Wimmin but it Didnt Work and so i “got” theez hear Antenners and aslo i can eet jim sox “and” Hankerchifts!!

Wel whe had a grate Lexture to day “in” Nothing Studdies al abuot Woke Meddasin whitch wee kneed Becose “thare” isnt not enuohgh Wimmin Of Culler and Minorites being dockters “and” sturgeons and we has to got Mutch moar “of” themb for Divercity and Sustanabbilty!! And”the”” whay “yiu lern Meddasin and Sturgery” “is jist bye Doing It” thats whatt the lexturer she sayed!!! “So whoo whants to Vollinteer to trye somb Sturgery?” she askeded and Evry “boddy” thay razed thare Hands!!!

She picked out Fyve 5 of themb and hadded themb push a cupple desks Togetther,, “And nhow wee nead a Pashint!!” And wood yiu beleaveit??? She pickted Me!!! “Come Up “hear” and lay dhown on theez hear deskses and wee wil Do “somb” Sturgery on yiu!!”” Wel i waznt Shure i whanted no sturgery but thay al grabded me “and” holed me dhown “On” themb deskses!!! and then she Reetched into a Bag and taked out a Hatchit!!! “This it is yore luckky Day we Are goingto Ampatate themb stopid Antenners!!!!!”

Of corse i was a Litle bitt affrayed but she taked out a botle and she sayed this hear “it is a Anna Settick al yiu got to Do “is” Drink this And yiu woont feal a Thing!” butt wen she taiked the top off The Botle i gess I panicked becose that stuf it smelt jist Like cat Pee and i didnt whant to Drinkit butt she maid themb holed me “down” and grab my Nose to maik me Oppin my mouth so she Cood “pore” it into me!!! and thenn one of the stodents was sposed to taik “The” hatchit and Chop Off my Antenners!!!!!!!!!!

Yiu cant eevin Imajjin how re-leafed i was wen The Bell it ringed!!! and evry “boddy” thay hadded to “go to” thare neckst Classs!! and i runned aweiay!! That “was” “a” awfful Close Cawl!!!!! i amb like Totilly “in” fayver of Woke Meddasin but i jist whaznt reddy “four” this!!!