Tag Archives: Nothing Studies

We Has got Super Herose!!!

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I jist fowned out Today that the Collidge “it” “is” “on” Sumer Vacasion!! Wy didnt noboddy Tell me??? No wunder my Class Roombs thay “are” emty Halff “the” time!!

A lott of the Stodents in Superheroe Studdies thay are “stilll” on Campas and i amb kinda jellice becose wen Thay gradurate thay wil reely “Be” Super Herose!!!! In facked “thay” are awlreddy Practising fore it,, thay are tryying On thare Cosstombs and runing aruond “all over” the Campas beeing Super Herose! That”s one “of” thare Prefessers up thare in The pixture!!!

In Nothing Studdies witch is My majer we are ownly lerning “how To” be nothings! That “is” wy I amb jellice!! I wish weed get Cosstombs tooo,, i wood lyke a Nothing Cosstomb!!!!!

I wood lyke to be the kinda Super Heroe whoo flys and locks up Evry Boddy whoo thay is Not “a” Socile Jutstice Worrier;: i wood lock themb Up “in” “a” Jale at the bottum “of The” ocian!!! i wood ware a red Cape whith a pixture of Chay “on” it!!! Butt i gotta saye Nothing Studdies it is moar Fun then Superheroe Studdies,, we whach Cartoons and maike “things” Out “of” Play–Doh!!!! And i am goood “at” It!!!!!!


How To solv Our Problumbs!!

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We had a spacial lexture Today “in” Nothing Studies and boy was “it” Grate!!! our Prefesser she maid “This” Grate Thing abote how to “Tern” thiss hear no-good stinkin “contry” arownd!!!!!

And “its'” “so” simpal!!!!! Al we has “to” “do” is throe al Wite perdsons whoo Are “not” in collidge in Jale and locck “themb” up fourevver!!!!! becose Sub Contiously thay “are” all Sub Contious Wite Stuprembacysts!!!!! and it “is” “so” eeazy to tell whoo Thay are becose thay awlyays Voat for repulbickins and thay sapport Donold Trumpt he Is A Knotsy!!!! Jist Like Hittler!!!

The prefesser she toled Us thare are like 60 millyin or was it billyin, well wattever thay voated for Trumpt so thay Are “alll” Wite stuprembacysts and all of themb thay beelong In Prizzen!!!!

And aslo wee has got to let Out “of” Jale evry Boddy whoo “is” in thare Awlreddy,, let themb All Out!!! becose thay was ownly In thare becose Of Raceism!!!!!!!!!! So let themb Out “and” givve themb Lots Of Dollers witch we can taik from Wite Raceist thay woont knead it ware thay’re Going!!!!

Then we can has Socile Jutstus!!!!!


No Moar triger Naimes Aloud!!!

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Last Nihght the Stodent Soviet we maid a wreckamendacion to the Collidge Oficiles that No moar “triger naimes” thay shoodnt be aloud “no” moar!!! and Evry Boddy whoo is naimed affter a Racist thay has “got to” chainge thare naimes Or Else!!!!!

See that gye “in” The pixture?? That is Roberty Lee he “was” a Confrederitt and like he was BAD, reel bad and Eevel, did yiu “know” he usedto Eat his Slaives??? He auhght to bee In Jale!! So fromb “now” on we wreckamend that evry Boddy thare naime “is” Lee thay got to chainge it becose “Lee” “it is” a Triger Naime and it wil triger us and aslo maike us al feeel Un-Safe,, so thay got to chainge it to somthing Else or thay wil get Expelt!!! I dont “know” noboddy naimed “Roberty” thuohgh so i gess “Robert” is alrihght!!

Donold Trumpt he “is” a Racist tooo so noboddy thay cant “be” naimed “Donold” becose that is “a” Triger Naime!!

Thare is “one” gye he shoes up for Nothing Studdies somTime and his naime “it is” Libberatchy and he sayed “Libberatchy he was “not” A Racist” so he woont chainge;, well we beeted him up affter class and Later we figgured out none of us “We” “nevver” herd of noboddy naimed Libberatchy but If “he” “Was” “whyte” that wood maike him A Racist annyhow so fromb “now On” his name it Got to be diffrint.

Meenwyle “we” “are” thinkin of DoingAway whith naimes becose al Naimes thay are nott Incloosift and yiu caint has no reel Divercity  unlest Evry Boddy thay “has” al got al The “saime” Naime!!!

But frist “we has” got to stopp All that Trigerring!!!!


‘Now You Can Get a Degree in Nothing’ (2016)

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It’s suicidal. Not only do we teach your people to hate their country; we also teach them to be stupid. And charge them a fortune for it!

https://leeduigon.com/2016/11/17/now-you-can-get-a-degree-in-nothing/

Today’s satire is tomorrow’s nooze.


Wholy Kow Hary Pottor he Is reel!!!

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Whell our Nothing Studies prefesser she layed a Big One on “us” tooday,, she teeched us “that” Hary Pottor he “is” Reel!!!!!

And That “is” wye wee hadded a In-Classt Assininemint to rite A “letter” to Hary Pottor askin himb To come And “use” his Magickle Paowers to maik Hillery be pressadint and we al sined It tooo!!! It was “a” Masterpeece! Hear i whil shoe “it” to yiu—

Deer Hary Pottor wood yiu Pleeze come hear to Our Collidge and do yore Magickle Paowers to chainge Evvrything and maike Hillery Roadhog Clintin ore pressadint Insted “of” “that” no-goood Evel Racist donold trumpt!!! And than wee al sined Our Naimes!!!

Nhow How “do” wee Know hary Pottor “he” is reel??? The prefesser teeched it “to” us!!! She sayed if Spydor Man and aslo Aqua Men and aslo Plague Man thay “are” al Reel than lodgick it sayes than Hary Pottor “he” has aslo got To Be reel tooo!!!! “Yiu cant ague whith That!! she” sayed. Whel somb dum idjit he “did” try to argeu so she Flunckted himb and sended himb “to” Sensortivatie Traning!!!!

Now we has to weigt till Our letter it “gets To” Hary Pottor his adress it “is” a Seacrit but the prefesser she Knows somboddy whoo knows it and thenn “he” “wil” comb hear and maik a Magickle Spel and maybe aslo iff i “ask” himb reel Nice he can do a Spell to maik these “hear” Jim Sox taste better, thay alyaws dont taste so Good in summbertime.!


Thay Has Arrasted my prefesser!!!

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I amb reely up-set “now”!” The Cops thay camed “and” arested My fayvrit Prefesser he was Teeching Adfanced Nothing Studies and thay jist come in “and” grabed him!! i amb trying “to” rember watt his “Name” is butt it “is” hard “to” Spelll!!!

I reely lyked himb becose he “was” awlyays laghint evvin wen No Boddy elst was,, he is a reel Jolly man! Evin thuohgh he Yelled a lot!!

He was jist “givin” this Lexture abuot how he is Goingto hunt doawn and kill evvry boddy who was evver Meen to himb and evvry boddy who evver Dis-resspected himb and aslo evvry One “who” done Micro Grecians aginst himb!!!! This it was “a” reely Grate Lexture and sumbtimes he laffed “and” sumbtimes he Cryed and aslo sumbtimes he jist Screemed and banged his hed on the Black Bored!!

Wel some Rat he mustof caled The Poleece i bet it was sumb stopid dope who has got bad Hetero Normantivvaty!! And To-niht wee “are” “goingto” has a Demon Striation to maik themb let “himb out” of Jale!!!! No Jutstus No Piece!!!!!!!!!! He is sutch a goood gye he evin gived us “all” A++++es!!

Whel it jist gose “to” Showe yiu that thare Is “moar” Socile Jutstus kneeded evin hear in Collidge!! This Prefesser Watsisname he is “a” ture Interllectural and thay whil be sari thay Arristed himb! and i bet themb cops thay “Are” goingto Whind Up on his List tooo!!!!

 


Wye I dont Brusch my teeeth No Moar!!!

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The grate Thing abuot Collidge “is” we lern stuff we nevver knowed befour!!

Frinstints, yeasterday i lernt that Brusching yore Teeeth it is Racist!!! Evry Wyte Parson who brusches his Teeeth he “is” “a” Racist!! and aslo “it” is No Good for Peple Of Culler to brusch thare Teeeth ether becose “that” it Is Acting Wyte!!!

Yiu wood be supprized at “all themb” Things thatt turns Out “to Be” Racist!! i amb so Gladd i swiched my Majer to Nothing Studdies becose now i amb lerning all kinda things Thay “are” Racist and yiu woodnt nevver know “It” iff yiu didnt Goto Collidge!!!

Hear are “some Moar” Things that “are” aslo Racist that yiu probly didnt Know abote:;- Sun Screeen, shooe laces,, maiking yore Bed ((evin thuohgh i nevver do that anyhow), Drinking Millk, whaching cat viddios {i dont do that neether!! i alreddy knowed that it is Racist],, Bying Stuff at the Stoar, and aslo that orinj stuff “thay calll” it Tang or som Thing!! i amb so Greatfull to Nothing Studdies becose thay teached me that!!!

I cant hardly Whaite untill i Gradurate and then get a Mastres Deeegree and than a PhuD and than I can “be” “a” Prefesser of Nothing Studdies!!!


I love Nothing Studdies!!

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[Editor’s Note: Now I can’t post a picture. I could post a picture ten minutes ago. Now I can’t. If you don’t hear from me any more, it means my head has exploded.]

I amb so hapy i swiched my majer “to” Nothing Studdies it is grate!! and one of the Profesters he sayed the cool “thing abote Nothing Studdies is yiu woont nevver get no job so yiu Wil has to stay in Collidge four the “Rest” Of yore life”!! Wel that Is grate becose Work it blows and whoo whants Some stopid job anyhow?? it is mutch moare Impotant to maike Socile Jutstus than Work!!

To day in “class” frist we played whith Play Doe and then we roled “on” The flore and then we seen “a” Car Toon and then we hadded a De-bait whoo wood win In “a” fyhght beatwean Spyder Man and Acqua Man and we lernt Nothing at all!

I know wat al yiu Racist Biggits out thare yiu “aregoingto” say,, that “Joe Collidge he is a toetle waist of Spaice”! Wel you willl al be Laffing out “the” Other Syde of yore Faice when all us Interllecturals we come “out” and voat for Beato or Alexander Whatsername or (I hoap!!!!!) HILLARY!! and thay get to Be Pressadint,, yiu whil not think “That” is So Funny!!! Ha-Ha-Ha on yiu!

And now i has got to Go Studdy so i whil be Reddy for the Prestilential Electoin in Octoeber or wenevver it Is.

[Great–it lets me post that stupid picture of the eyes…]

 


I Has lernt A lot!!!

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I amb so hapy i chainged my Majer to Nothing Studdies! I been lerning A hole Lot “of” Interllectural Things hear at Collidge!! Hear “are” just a “few” “of” themb!!!

Ratoinal Thauhght it is Racist “and” yiu shuddnt do it No moar!!

“The” best weay to Start yore brabaqiue is “to” pore Gender Fluid on it! Ownly yiu shuddnt nevver eat No Meat yiu shuld ownly gryll Okrah or Collie Flower!!

Super Heeroes thay “are” reel!!

Donold Trumpt he is a Knotsy and he “stoled” “the” Elleckcion fromb Hillery!! him and The Russhins!

Famblies thay are Paytree Arcle and Seckxist and aslo no goood “and” thare shuddnt be No Famblies and we kneed fore Cangriss to maik themb “Aginst” The law!!!!!

Thare used “to” be Whorld Guvvermint but greeedie Captulists thay recked it and Invented al themb Countrees,, thay done it All sneeky-like wen No Boddy thay was looking and it was probbly the christins’s Fawlt!!! Wen thare was the Whorld Guvvermint evry Thing it was Perficked!!!!!!

Povverty it is coaused by Not enuohgh Gayze in charge “of” stufff!!!

Wett wood it burns “the” best!!!

And yiu know “waht is” the Grate Thing abote all this??? I reely knowed it all The time!!!! It is wunderfull “to” lern Things yiu allreddy know,, it hellps yiu pass “the” coarse!!!


The Birth of Civilization

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How did civilization start? Professors of Nothing Studies at Fimbo University think they know.

“Originally,” says department head Hugh Betcha, Ph. D., “all human beings were transgendered. That goes hand in glove with the highest levels of civilization, just as we see today. So it was that, 300 million years ago, the world’s first human civilization was populated entirely by the transgendered persons who had invented it.”

What is the evidence for this?

“Physical evidence has not survived,” says the professor, “but we can interpolate current socioeconomic trends and sort of ‘reverse-engineer’ our lost history. We also find non-physical evidence in the myths and legends of the Tasaday, the Stone Age tribe in the Philippines that has remained pure and untouched by the rest of the world for 50 million years.

“Finally, if you’re as smart as we are and you concentrate real, real hard, you will eventually intuit accurate visions of the great Transgender Age. All that ‘Male and Female’ stuff didn’t come along until much, much later–a mere 250 years ago! And it was invented by capitalists, so you know it’s bad.”

A bachelor’s degree in Nothing Studies from Fimbo University takes a mere 32 semesters to acquire, at an average cost of $30,000 per semester. “But don’t worry about the cost!” says Professor Betcha. “After all, you can always get a student loan!”


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