Tag Archives: Nothing Studies

Thay Has Arrasted my prefesser!!!

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I amb reely up-set “now”!” The Cops thay camed “and” arested My fayvrit Prefesser he was Teeching Adfanced Nothing Studies and thay jist come in “and” grabed him!! i amb trying “to” rember watt his “Name” is butt it “is” hard “to” Spelll!!!

I reely lyked himb becose he “was” awlyays laghint evvin wen No Boddy elst was,, he is a reel Jolly man! Evin thuohgh he Yelled a lot!!

He was jist “givin” this Lexture abuot how he is Goingto hunt doawn and kill evvry boddy who was evver Meen to himb and evvry boddy who evver Dis-resspected himb and aslo evvry One “who” done Micro Grecians aginst himb!!!! This it was “a” reely Grate Lexture and sumbtimes he laffed “and” sumbtimes he Cryed and aslo sumbtimes he jist Screemed and banged his hed on the Black Bored!!

Wel some Rat he mustof caled The Poleece i bet it was sumb stopid dope who has got bad Hetero Normantivvaty!! And To-niht wee “are” “goingto” has a Demon Striation to maik themb let “himb out” of Jale!!!! No Jutstus No Piece!!!!!!!!!! He is sutch a goood gye he evin gived us “all” A++++es!!

Whel it jist gose “to” Showe yiu that thare Is “moar” Socile Jutstus kneeded evin hear in Collidge!! This Prefesser Watsisname he is “a” ture Interllectural and thay whil be sari thay Arristed himb! and i bet themb cops thay “Are” goingto Whind Up on his List tooo!!!!

 


Wye I dont Brusch my teeeth No Moar!!!

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The grate Thing abuot Collidge “is” we lern stuff we nevver knowed befour!!

Frinstints, yeasterday i lernt that Brusching yore Teeeth it is Racist!!! Evry Wyte Parson who brusches his Teeeth he “is” “a” Racist!! and aslo “it” is No Good for Peple Of Culler to brusch thare Teeeth ether becose “that” it Is Acting Wyte!!!

Yiu wood be supprized at “all themb” Things thatt turns Out “to Be” Racist!! i amb so Gladd i swiched my Majer to Nothing Studdies becose now i amb lerning all kinda things Thay “are” Racist and yiu woodnt nevver know “It” iff yiu didnt Goto Collidge!!!

Hear are “some Moar” Things that “are” aslo Racist that yiu probly didnt Know abote:;- Sun Screeen, shooe laces,, maiking yore Bed ((evin thuohgh i nevver do that anyhow), Drinking Millk, whaching cat viddios {i dont do that neether!! i alreddy knowed that it is Racist],, Bying Stuff at the Stoar, and aslo that orinj stuff “thay calll” it Tang or som Thing!! i amb so Greatfull to Nothing Studdies becose thay teached me that!!!

I cant hardly Whaite untill i Gradurate and then get a Mastres Deeegree and than a PhuD and than I can “be” “a” Prefesser of Nothing Studdies!!!


I love Nothing Studdies!!

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[Editor’s Note: Now I can’t post a picture. I could post a picture ten minutes ago. Now I can’t. If you don’t hear from me any more, it means my head has exploded.]

I amb so hapy i swiched my majer “to” Nothing Studdies it is grate!! and one of the Profesters he sayed the cool “thing abote Nothing Studdies is yiu woont nevver get no job so yiu Wil has to stay in Collidge four the “Rest” Of yore life”!! Wel that Is grate becose Work it blows and whoo whants Some stopid job anyhow?? it is mutch moare Impotant to maike Socile Jutstus than Work!!

To day in “class” frist we played whith Play Doe and then we roled “on” The flore and then we seen “a” Car Toon and then we hadded a De-bait whoo wood win In “a” fyhght beatwean Spyder Man and Acqua Man and we lernt Nothing at all!

I know wat al yiu Racist Biggits out thare yiu “aregoingto” say,, that “Joe Collidge he is a toetle waist of Spaice”! Wel you willl al be Laffing out “the” Other Syde of yore Faice when all us Interllecturals we come “out” and voat for Beato or Alexander Whatsername or (I hoap!!!!!) HILLARY!! and thay get to Be Pressadint,, yiu whil not think “That” is So Funny!!! Ha-Ha-Ha on yiu!

And now i has got to Go Studdy so i whil be Reddy for the Prestilential Electoin in Octoeber or wenevver it Is.

[Great–it lets me post that stupid picture of the eyes…]

 


I Has lernt A lot!!!

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I amb so hapy i chainged my Majer to Nothing Studdies! I been lerning A hole Lot “of” Interllectural Things hear at Collidge!! Hear “are” just a “few” “of” themb!!!

Ratoinal Thauhght it is Racist “and” yiu shuddnt do it No moar!!

“The” best weay to Start yore brabaqiue is “to” pore Gender Fluid on it! Ownly yiu shuddnt nevver eat No Meat yiu shuld ownly gryll Okrah or Collie Flower!!

Super Heeroes thay “are” reel!!

Donold Trumpt he is a Knotsy and he “stoled” “the” Elleckcion fromb Hillery!! him and The Russhins!

Famblies thay are Paytree Arcle and Seckxist and aslo no goood “and” thare shuddnt be No Famblies and we kneed fore Cangriss to maik themb “Aginst” The law!!!!!

Thare used “to” be Whorld Guvvermint but greeedie Captulists thay recked it and Invented al themb Countrees,, thay done it All sneeky-like wen No Boddy thay was looking and it was probbly the christins’s Fawlt!!! Wen thare was the Whorld Guvvermint evry Thing it was Perficked!!!!!!

Povverty it is coaused by Not enuohgh Gayze in charge “of” stufff!!!

Wett wood it burns “the” best!!!

And yiu know “waht is” the Grate Thing abote all this??? I reely knowed it all The time!!!! It is wunderfull “to” lern Things yiu allreddy know,, it hellps yiu pass “the” coarse!!!


The Birth of Civilization

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How did civilization start? Professors of Nothing Studies at Fimbo University think they know.

“Originally,” says department head Hugh Betcha, Ph. D., “all human beings were transgendered. That goes hand in glove with the highest levels of civilization, just as we see today. So it was that, 300 million years ago, the world’s first human civilization was populated entirely by the transgendered persons who had invented it.”

What is the evidence for this?

“Physical evidence has not survived,” says the professor, “but we can interpolate current socioeconomic trends and sort of ‘reverse-engineer’ our lost history. We also find non-physical evidence in the myths and legends of the Tasaday, the Stone Age tribe in the Philippines that has remained pure and untouched by the rest of the world for 50 million years.

“Finally, if you’re as smart as we are and you concentrate real, real hard, you will eventually intuit accurate visions of the great Transgender Age. All that ‘Male and Female’ stuff didn’t come along until much, much later–a mere 250 years ago! And it was invented by capitalists, so you know it’s bad.”

A bachelor’s degree in Nothing Studies from Fimbo University takes a mere 32 semesters to acquire, at an average cost of $30,000 per semester. “But don’t worry about the cost!” says Professor Betcha. “After all, you can always get a student loan!”


Now You Can Get a Degree in Nothing

Okay, back to the post-real world…

This just in from Crayola University: Starting this semester, students can earn a bachelor’s degree in Nothing. Yup, that’s right: Nothing. Students in the Nothing degree program will read nothing, study nothing, learn nothing, and know nothing. Mostly they will play with Play-Doh.

“We had to do it,” said University President I. B. Pillock. “Too many of our students are unable to cope with more traditional degree programs like Women’s Studies, Queer Studies, Chicano Studies, Queer Chicano Studies, and Superhero Studies, etc. At the same time, they are unable to live outside a university environment.

“But we can keep them here for as long as they keep paying their tuition, fees, housing, and everything else. We have hired several new professors who specialize in teaching Nothing, and if it all works out, we will offer post-graduate courses in Nothing. Maybe even a Ph. D. program!”


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