Tag: Nothing Studies

Joe Collidge’s Term Paper REPRINT

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What to Do If Your High Schooler Has Failing GradesFrom June 11, 2021

Soddenly Our Collidge thay has desided “it” gots tobe moar Riggerice (wattevver That meens!!) and we shood “alll” has “to” rite Termb Paypers!!! Even in Nothing Studdies!!! It is crool,, butt thay say somb Haters in the Stayte Lejaslaychur thay are “goingto” taik A-whay A Lott “Of” our funnding unlest thare “is” moar Eddicaytshun hapening!!!!! That it is wye we has to rite Termb Paypers!!!! To proove the Collidge is knot jist waysting Munny!!!!!!

Wel i nevver rote no Term Payper the hole tyme i Been “in” collidge!! The prefesster she sayed “Jist reite yore Idear”^^ that aynt No helpp!! Idear? I hasnt hadded no Idear sints, like, Evver!!!!!!!!!!

Forchinittly my frend Fottzy, he hadded A Grate Idear and he sayed “Wye doughnt yiu jist rite watt i rite?? Weere all “goingto” rite “The saimb” Thing!!!”! That shoor taiked a lode Offf my “Mined”!” Aslo it is a whay “to” cellerbrayt Dyvercity!!!!

So our Toppick it is “Jo Bydin He Is “The” Re-Carnation of Pressadint Obomma and Pressadint Obomma He “Is” Naow A god!!!!!!!!!!” It is a grate toppick and we whill Awl “get” a A+++!!!

Somb Hater he sayed Jobydin he “is” Oalder thann Pressadint Obomma so he caint possablee be himb and anywhay Pressadint Obomma he “is” still Hear so he caint Be Re-in-carnaytid At All!!!!””!  So we al beet himb Up!!!!

Boy it “Is” Harrd to rite a Termb Payper, thay “are” maikin us rite A Hundrid 100 Werds and itt is Taikin me al Dhay!!!!!!!!

The Forgotten Worlds of Joe Collidge

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“”The Presisstints of Memry”” by Sal Maglie (oar sumb-boddy)

I dunno whAt hes Talking “about!”!” I hasnt forgot nothing!!!! Hes the One Whoos loosing “his”” Memry!!

Our Nothing Studdies prefesser, Dr. Limbo, “he has” Starrted a Exspearmint and I sined Up “tobe” In It!!!!!!

What “if” we was awl Baybys wen we starrtid Collidge?? And lyke 18 oar 19 oar twinty20 yeers Old wen we starrtid Kintergardin??? Prefesser Limbo he “says it” wood maik Us “beter human beans”!”!” So nhow wen We “go” To lextures and stuff,, we gots to ware Dypers and be in Craydals and drink Millk fromb Bayby bottels.

And the prefesser he says “Try” to “Forgett (!) evry thing you Evver lernt sints yiu frist wendt “to” Kintergardin” so yiu Can lurn All Oaver Agin!!!!!!!”” And sumb of us we doughnt “has to” try tooo hard!!!

Has we bin “livving” Backwords awl Thiss tyme??? Betcha we did!!! We shooda STARRTED in Collidge wen we was Baybys and whorked Out “whay” baCk to Kindygarddin!!!!

We whil Get It Ryte thiss tyme!!!!

AI Goingto Maik ‘Us’ Awl Smart!!!!

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AI makes yiu Smart!!!

Well, he diddnt whant “to” do it, but Our Collidge pressadint he caived In wen we hadded a littul Riot in frunt Of “his” hause!!!!

So nhow we Are gointobe aloud to Use Arterfissile Intellergints  to taik Our testes and rite Our paypers AND THAT MEENS AWL A’S FORE EVVRYBODDY!!!!! Wate till We “go” to Get jobbs!! Thay woont Be abel “to” Turn us Daown!!!

As lawng as we Are using A.I.,, i “think” Iyd lyke “tobe”an U.S. Sennatur affter I gradurate!!!! Alyaws rhoom fore One Moar “in” the Sennit!!! We knead Sennerters whoo “wil” Saive The Plannit and put Climbit Chainge De-Nyers in Jale!!!!! I doughnt know wye “they” hasnt dun That awlreddy!!!!!!

Sumb Hater he sayed “Whatta you knead Arterfissile Intellergints to git a Deegree in Nothing Studdies”?”?” So of corse we beet himb Up! Heck, now I cood git a DeeGree in how to Fly “a” jet plain if i whanted One!! Butt I lyke Nothing Studdies becawse it is So Introsecksional!!!!

We Wil ALL Be Smart!!!!

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Waht a grate Start “to the” Yeer!!! Our Nothing Studdies prefesser he “is” selling Smart Pills!! that wil maik yiu Smart!!!

Insyde eech caspule There Is “a” teeny tiny little Brane,, yiu caint harrdleigh See “it”, it’s so smawl–But!!!!!! Afftur yiu swallers It, yore blud streemb carrys It up into Yore Hedd and thare it whil Expland “to” full syze!!!!!!! How Grate “is” that??

At frist I thinked “Geee if this heer Pill  it can maik “yiu” smart, then wattawe need “To Go” to clases ennymoar??? But yiu cant Say “things lyke” that,, it wood Be hat speach!

Nhow theeze heer Pills thay “Are” ex-prensift, amlost 75 Sents a-pop! One of the stoodints he eated one and he got Mad “and” sayed “Dambit this “heer” it taists Lyke a rabit Turd!!” but the proph he jist Smyled “and” said “Sea, yiu Are geting Smarter awlreddy!”””

He aslo sedd “Foar thoze Of yiu whoo awlreddy has tyny mycro-Scope Branes, it is stil OK to “taik Smart pills,, “yiu kneed awl The Brane Pauwer yiu Can Gett!”!”!”

The Funniest ‘Joe Collidge’ Ever

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I Wanted to Be Superman. I Failed. | Psychology Today Ireland

I happened to encounter this post yesterday. Was that the one with all the funny comments? Yes, it was–“Souper Man He Is Woke!!!” And not to blow my own horn, but it gave me a laugh and I think it’ll do the same for you.

Souper Man he Is Woke!!!!

Really, I’m so tired of superheroes! And movies based on comic books. It tires me out just to know there are people “studying” this **** in college, and paying wheelbarrows full of money for the privilege.

Wye We ‘Nead’ Two (2) Dickshinairies!!

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We hadded a Brillyint lexture tooday “in” Nothing Studdies!”!” It “was” awl abuot Incollusion!!!

Trye “to” unnerstand this “heer” Poynt,, it “is” Very suttle!!!! Waht Is “the” diffrints betwean Incollusion “and” Excollusion??

Incollusion is wen we Do it,, and Excollusion is wen thay do it!!!! Wen we Do it, that Is Socile Jutstus! Wen thay doo it, that is Hait!!!! and aslo Racism! This gits conphusing!!

That it is wye we nead Two dickshinairies-(-one foar us Good Peeple and “The” other for awl themb Biggits out thare!!!!!! Otherwyes a dickshinairy it wood Be Too Big and reel hard “to” Carry aruound!!!! And besydes noboddy butt “a” Racist wood whant the Racist dickshinairy!!!! And We sirtinly doughnt whant enny “of” thayr Hatful wirds in our dickshinairy!!!!!!

Ownly by geting Ridd of no-good stinkin biggits, Ownly be excolluding themb, will we evver has incollusion!!!!!!!!!!

See haow Suttle that is?? Yiu has to Be “in” collidge a Long Tyme befoar yiu Are smart enuough To unnderstan It!!!!!!

Jobydin He Is ‘A’ Genus!!!

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Wow!! We hadded a lexture in Nothing Studdies tooday awl abuout Jobydin he “is a” Genus!!! Whey back wen “he was” a collidge Stoodint lyke me,, he Invented “the” faymis eequaysion E=mc2!!!!!! Izznt that Fabuyliss!!!!

“And” that “Is Not” the ownlie Thing he dun!!~!~! He was aslo a Truk Dryver and he plaid in the NFL tooo!!!!!!! And beefouir he “was” a Grate Cervint of Pressadint O’bomma he was In “the” Sennit fore 55 (fifftyfyve!) yeers, yiu cood Look It Up!!!! and wile he was In the Sennit he aslo invented Syvvil Rites!!!!!

I know “the” Far Riht thay say sumb guy naimed Eyestine he Infentid E=mc2 but yiu know “how” thay lye!!!!!!!! That is wye yiu doughnt “See” Eyestine arownd No moar!!!

It awl gose To Sho haow Lucky we Are to has Jobydin “in tHe ” Wyte Hauose with 88 millyin voats!!!!!!!! I doughnt thinck enny One butt Racists diddnt Voat for himb!!!!! And awl the Poles thay say Jobydin he whil Win “agin” neckst yeer!!!!! That thair is wye thay caul themb Opin-Yin Poles!!!

Awl we kneed Nhow is a Expecyutiff Odor to maik “it” aginst The Law to voat “Foar” enny-boddy Elss!!!!

Waht??? No Gradurassion???

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“We” jist got somb TEARRABLE NEWS!!!!!

Ar Collidge thay jist anounsed “that” thay Arent “goingto” Gradurate ennyone this yeer!!!! No deegrees!!!!!! Waht a shok!!!!!!!

Butt at leest thar’e dooing “it” “foar” “a” Good Reezin!!!! The reezin tha’re Not gradurating ennyboddy is To Pro-test Sisstembic Racism!!!!!!!! Nhow I un-derstand!! Evin So, It was a shok!!!

Insted “of” a Deegree,, thay Are givving “us” theeze heer Winny the Poo doles lyke “the” one in The pixture!! The Deen she sayed “”That whil hoald yiu Un-till awl vestridges of Racism and Wyte Struprempacy thay are No moar!”!”!”

So we awl gots “to” stay anether Yeer to git our Diplomer “butt that whil Ownly maik yiu a hole Yeer beter eddicated” she sayed!!!! Well I gess a Deegree In Nothing Studdies it “is” werth the waight!!! Its too bad I flunked Nookuler Fizzicks!! I whil has to fyned anether Miner Sujbeckt! Mayby try Cal-Culiss!

We whil aslo be aloud to creeyate Our Own Diplomers butt thay woont Count! But it whil be Good Practiss iff enny “of” us go Into Guvvermint!!!!!!

The Early Joe Collidge

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Georgia voters face hurdles with long lines lines and absentee ballots

Dambit, they saided “it” is Fryday wen reely “its” Therzday and so I hadded “to” whork Reel Harrd “jist to” rite this heer S.A. and “then It” terns Out its Not Fryday affter awl!!!!!!!!

I “was” goingto rite Abuot Eeleksion Rephorm becose “thay” teached Us Abuot It in Nothing Studdies and we has “Two” (2!) prombles 1} thay lets Crischins and Repubicans voat wen thay Shoodn”t” voat at awl (3![ and aslo //Oh shipt it shood of been !(1)// nhow i has lost Track “of” “the” nummbers!!\\ And The other promble is, we Shood awt To Let Every Boddy vote… even baybies and kids and evvryboddy who Is heer or who Comes heer jist to voat… EVVRY BODDY but them dadburnt Crischins and Repubicans and mayby aslo Strait Wite Mails too0!!!!!!

Nott ownly That! Butt aslo Eleksion Day it shood Be “yeer–rowned”” evvry day,, and yiu Can voat as menny Tymes “as” yiu want becose The poles thay “Are Opun” awl day evvry day and thare woont Be “no” Voater ID unlest yiu Identrify As “A Wimmin” and then yiu get twoo (2!!) voats instedd of jist “one” (1!!)!

And that is Haow “we straitin” Aout themb Ellekcions!!!!!!

Our Collidge It Has Me Studdies!

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We has got “a” new deegree pogrom!!! It is cawled You Studdies,, be-cose awl yiu gots to studdy “Is” Yore Selff!!!! Haow coool is “that”!”!??

Nhow yiu “can” spend five (^5^) yeers jist studdying Yore Selff!! The Deen she sayed “We has to Do “this” becuase Nothing Studdies it “is” tooo Harrd foar lots “of” “the” Stoodints! And sumb of Themb thay jist wowned up drinkin Fromb “the” Goal Fissh Pond and not lurning nothing and a fyew Of themb thay got Sick and thare famblys thay sooed The Collidge”!”!!

Butt frist they tryed jist “givving Out” deegrees foar nothing at awl “and” the Collidge it got sooed foar That tooo!!!!! Iff ownly “we” cood Get Rid “of” Famblys we wood awl be Beter Off!!!!

The grate Thing abowt You Studdies is,, It Is ***Flunck-Proof***!!! I meen haow can yiu possablee fale You Studdies!!!! Butt jist to maik Sure it “is” sucksestfull, the Stoodints thay whil be aloud to Graid Thembselffs!!! And jist In Caiss “that” doughnt whork ether, Stoodints who stil doughnt gett It,, thay whil has Mentaurs to hellp themb studdy thayrselffs!!!!!

I wunder iff i awt To chainge my Majer….?