False Facts, Series VI

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Happy New Year, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with Series VI of Acme False Facts. Aunt Feezy gave me a set for Christmas–I’m afraid she thought the facts were real: us quokkas are trusting souls–and I can hardly wait to impress all the other quokkas with my new-found bogus knowledge!

Without further ado, here are my favorite False Facts, so far.

*Benjamin Franklin invented the cell phone in 1771, but lost interest in it when there was no one to call.

*In 1951 President Mickey Vernon attempted to appoint his horse, Shorty, to the United States Supreme Court. This led to the discovery that he wasn’t really the president, but the Senate confirmed the appointment anyway.

*Kansas City was originally in Japan, but relocated in 1869.

*Ancient astronauts discovered Play-Doh on Mars and brought it to earth in 502 B.C.

*A centipede named Nobody’s Fool won the Kentucky Derby in 1963, but his victory was disallowed because he used too many legs.

I could do this all day, but I won’t–I’ve got a Christmas carol contest to administer.

Remember! Stand up straight, shoulders back, look ’em in the eye, and speak with unshakeable confidence! And you’ll have a future in politics.

18 comments on “False Facts, Series VI

  1. Hey Byron, are those wildfires in Australia affecting your habitat? – stay safe. Has anyone heard this one?: Who was the best comedian in the Bible? Samson, because he brought the house down.

  2. If only I had put these as my answers to the finals I’d have graduated with a scholarship to…er…ah…what comes after “college”?

  3. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! This is the year Trump gets re-elected and the Democrats zombie out. Makes me happy – at least for the next 4 years.

  4. Kansas City was located… IN JAPAN?!?!?!

    🤔❓. . .

    I find it hard to sink that into my brain, but I guess it’s worth it!

    By the way, I’m a macho tough guy with a six-pack.

    NOT.

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