Educators Recognize ‘Centaur’ as an ‘Identity’

Centaur of Attention (Horse) - Centaur - T-Shirt | TeePublic AU

We were bound to get to this point sooner or later: crackbrained authority figures insisting we “affirm” whatever “identity” someone chooses to adopt–even if it’s a mythological creature that has never existed.

School officials at Hangem High School in Yuggoth, Michigan, now recognize “any and all identities” claimed by students and staff, and compel the entire school population to recognize them, too (http//:www.liketotallyfullofit.com). The school is redesigning the cafeteria to accommodate three students who insist they are centaurs.

Thanks to the revolutionary new policy, Hangem High’s student body and teaching staff now include three centaurs, seven vampires, Prince Charles, two mutually hostile Barack Obamas, a Dilophosaurus, Nancy Pelosi, the Lone Ranger, and Chuck Schumer’s Love Child–just to name a few.

“This has worked out very well indeed!” says Principal Albert “Clarabelle” Fanoogi, who now wears a clown costume when he patrols the school’s hallways, from time to time squirting students with a seltzer dispenser.

P.S.–April Fool!

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

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