July’s a Disaster

Suzana Paravac on Instagram: “Quokkas are nature's happiness ...

G’day–or not. Byron the Quokka here, and it’s official: here at this blog, July’s a disaster.

Daily viewership is down by 120 views a day. Ouch! But that’s only the blog. If you think we’re having a picnic at Quokka University, think again!

We have lost our most celebrated special guest lecturer before the semester even starts. Professor Aristotle Bottle, “the one-man philosophy course,” the Living Legend of Smartness, world-renowned author of Wet Wood Burns the Best–holy cow, we’re not gonna have him! He has been hospitalized after attempting to prove that an open manhole cover does not necessarily imply the existence of a manhole. Broke his coccyx going down.

Well, I’m glad we haven’t charged any money for his lectures, and I’m glad we didn’t pay him up front. But how do you replace a superstar like that?

We’re open to suggestions!

6 comments on “July’s a Disaster

  1. It’s hard to think of anyone as smart as Aristotle Bottle, with such a demonstrated grasp on reality, but what about Alexandria Occasional-Cortex?

Leave a Reply